Food & Drink

Sure, the wheel is cool, but the burrito has to be the best invention in the history of the universe. Can you eat the wheel? No. Is the wheel warm and soft? Quite the opposite. Is the wheel filled with delicious meats, rice, guacamole, and salsa? Wait a minute… I’ll be right back. Never mind, that wouldn’t work. Back to my point: the burrito! Oh, it’s lovely. But beware: Not all burritos are created equal. All burrito lovers have been betrayed at some point, biting into a fat tortilla only to discover cold meat, hard rice, and beans that taste like toes. It’s not fun. But now you can let your guard down. It’s safe to love again, burrito lovers, because the Whole Enchilada is never going to hurt you like that. No, you’ll only ever find soft tortillas, warm queso, fresh guacamole, and happy burritos stuffed with everything from black tiger shrimp to mahi-mahi to the good old steak and chicken. And with both an Oakland Park and Fort Lauderdale location, you’ll never be too far apart. Love is alive and well. And it lives inside a tortilla.

All right. Here’s what you can’t do. You can’t double-dip. You can’t scoot it closer to you. The bowl has to stay equidistant from all dippers. You can’t mix salsa into it. You can’t use more than 60 percent of the chip to dip. You can’t talk about how it’s not as good as the kind you make. We’ve tasted yours. This is better. You can’t dip more than once while I’m in the bathroom. You can’t refuse to pay for it if you’ve had more than 10 percent. You can’t waste chips; they are a precious resource. You can’t dip twice unless at least one other person has dipped in between your dips. You can’t take the last bit without the table’s consent. And you can’t complain about how full you are if you’re still eating. You can, however, enjoy it. Because guacamole is perhaps the best thing that has ever happened to your mouth.

Street food should be easy to eat, straightforward to make, packed with flavor, and in close proximity to copious amounts of alcohol. Tacos are the epitome of said food group. And while not strictly Mexican, this global comfort fare spot has some of the tastiest around. Several fillings are offered, but the steak tacos ($10) are the clear winner of them all. Warm house-made flour tortillas are filled with skirt steak, queso fresco, grilled onions, salsa fresca, and crema for a handheld dish that hits all the right spots; it’s savory, dripping with juice, and it soaks up the booze in an instant. Yeah, this place might be a bit fancier than your average roadside shack or cart. But it’s freaking delicious — and right smack dab in the middle of downtown Lauderdale.

No one wants to eat subpar food. Some items, however, are bearable. Crappy pizza is doable. An uninspiring burger is perfectly consumable. A bland chicken sandwich: You probably had one this week. But mediocre fish is the absolute pits. No matter the preparation, there’s no overcoming shoddy seafood. And when it comes to a fish taco, it’s serious business. It combines the best of the food world in one easy-to-eat package. When it’s good, it’s an enlightening experience — if it’s bad, you’re probably getting sick. Jojo’s Tacos’ Cathy’s Catch ($5.50) hits every taste receptor with a bang. Fresh fish is flash-fried to create the perfect crisp exterior without the grease. It’s topped with a heaping portion of sweet and zesty cilantro honey lime slaw and crunchy pepitas (pumpkin seeds). The heat is added with a bright and creamy serrano tartar. It all sits atop a perfectly toasted soft-shell corn tortilla; this thing is so chock-full of flavor and toppings, one could constitute an entire meal by itself. Just try finding such a well-thought-out taco on the side of the road.

This mobile venture started nearly two years ago in Fort Lauderdale and has picked up so much steam that owner/founder Christopher Lee is expanding and taking applications for would-be dog slingers. Now, that’s packin’ some meat, bro. What is it about these darling dogs that made the list? Well, first off, hottie Lee wears an adorable ’50s-era uniform, a nostalgic hat and a tie, and chats up customers while he tops off each dog. His cart is decorated with a nod to bygone days and offers a romantic throwback to a more innocent time. Now, let’s talk menu. Creativity is a must. Items like the Swanky Frankie ($5), loaded with caramelized onions, cheese, and barbecue sauce, is served up oh so nicely. The “Claaassic” ($5) is dressed up with avocado, chili, potato sticks, French-fried onions, and a secret sauce. Oh, and if that doesn’t make your mouth water, pick your own toppings, from pine­apple to sriracha to hummus. Beef, vegan, and vegetarian options are available, so bite in, baby. Follow @FrankieDogs on Twitter and Facebook to track ’em down.

There seems to be a new burger joint opening up every other day. Each has its schtick: from special cooking techniques to famous owners to cheap and easy, something is always supposed to stand out. At this point, it’s not even really news when a new place stakes a claim in Burgerland. Unless, of course, you head to Burger and Beer Joint in Pembroke Pines. The Broward outpost of the famed Miami Beach hangout offers suburbanites the same glorious meat-patty sandwiches that can be found at the original digs. Gourmet burgers come with interesting topping combinations. The Hotel California ($13.99) features a half-pound of Angus beef with guacamole, grilled Vidalia onion, jalapeño relish, cilantro sour cream, sharp cheddar, and sunny-side-up fried egg tucked between a brioche bun. The Mustang Sally ($16.99) takes  a brioche bun and stuffs it with eight ounces of Wagyu beef, red onion marmalade, Brie cheese, and sliced prosciutto. Everything is big, but it’s not all about the beef here. The Turning Japanese ($19.99) puts five ounces of seared rare ahi tuna, avocado, watercress, jalapeño relish, and spicy garlic mayo on an onion bun, served with tempura onion rings and jalapeño-cheddar sauce. And there’s always a perfect beer to pair; the craft brew list could rival some of the best microbrew lists in the area. Good brew, great burgers, and no gimmicks.

Side dishes have been relegated to the less-respected part of the plate since the dawn of time. From sad salads to soggy baked potatoes, these accompaniments are often considered mere afterthoughts. Most of the time, no one seems to mind — or even notice; however, it’s a deep sense of injustice when a cold, flaccid French fry turns up on your plate. Such an incident should never become of such a glorious, noble vegetable as the potato. And it will certainly never happen at Best French Fries. The Palm Beach County-based food truck proffers its perfectly crisp-on-the-outside, fluffy-on-the-inside fried potatoes at roundups and special events around the region. For four to six bucks, guests get to choose from an assortment of “fries,” cooking methods (healthy folk can opt for baked), and two dozen dipping sauces (such as aioli, spicy horseradish, wasabi ginger, curry ketchup, and ancho chili lime). Owner Debbie Harris has upgraded the humble French fry (or, really, Belgian frites) to a meal in and of itself.

Scuola Vecchia is Italian for “old school,” which is exactly what you’ll get. Recipes are straight from Italy, which means this is as close to authentic Neapolitan pizza as South Florida can get. The small restaurant uses only homemade ingredients, from hand-pulled mozzarella using imported Italian curds to seven-grain dough and fresh San Marzano tomatoes. But it’s the Acunto wood-fired oven — brought straight from Napoli, Italy — that makes for a truly transcending slice. Inside, volcanic stone allows for temperatures that reach an astounding 1,000 degrees, baking each pizza in as little as 90 seconds. It yields just the right amount of dough, char, and crunch to the signature Regina margherita, a combination of imported buffalo mozzarella, cherry tomatoes, extra-virgin olive oil, and basil. Throw in pizza-making trainer Roberto Caporuscio, president of the American chapter for the Associazione Pizzaiouli Napoletani America (a pizza-making association that determines which pies are legit Neapolitan) and you’re pretty much guaranteed pizza perfection.

Barbecue might be the only original American cuisine, but the U.S. is a melting pot — Americans like to change things up. Set in the former site of Texas Hold ‘Em BBQ, this spot serves a bit of smoked meat — or just sides — for everyone. The latest endeavor from Coconut’s, Foxy Brown, and G&B Oyster owner Elliot Wolf, this barbecue restaurant offers an array of animal parts and creative sauces. Texas-born chef Steve Shockey spends days marinating and smoking his high-quality cuts of meat in an attempt to fuse together the juxtaposing ‘cue palates that make up South Florida. Looking for Lone Star-style brisket? No problem. Carolina pulled pork? Got it. Kansas City sauce? You’re covered. The Eat Meat Combo ($21) comes with two meats and two sides, all of which are served in heaping portions. Selections range from the Stack Beef Ribs (Wagyu beef brushed with pomegranate molasses) to dry-rubbed pork spare ribs. Sides span from healthy-ish cauliflower mash to hush puppies and mac ‘n’ cheese. And just like any barbecue joint, save room for the corn bread. Red Cow’s iron-skillet rendition ($9) is out of this world.

Convincing a friend to try falafel for the first time is kind of a hard sell: “They’re these balls of ground-up chickpeas and tahini — Oh, tahini is sesame seed paste! Yes, like on the buns at McDonald’s. Anyway, they take the balls and they fry them, and then you put tzatziki sauce on it — it’s a yogurt sauce. No, not like Yoplait. It’s good; just eat it!” The best thing to do is just take your pal somewhere that makes really good falafel and get him to take a bite. But don’t take him just anywhere — the falafel has to be just right. Falafel Benny and Schwarma in Hallandale Beach serves falafel the way it should be — still warm from the fryer, wrapped in soft pita bread, drizzled with tzatziki sauce, and topped with onions and diced cucumber. It’s everything a falafel should be and kosher to boot. Bonus at Benny’s is the tall cut of beef — the schwarma turning on its spit all day, just waiting for you to order a slice.

At some point, the banh mi will go mainstream and be offered at Subway. But until then, one must search high and low for the delicious Vietnamese sandwich that is a byproduct of French colonialism. Served in a crispy baguette, it combines French tastes (pâté) with Vietnamese ingredients (cilantro, daikon, pickled carrot). Fortunately one must travel no further than Hollywood Boulevard to find a perfect example. Pho VI has three varieties on the menu: grilled pork, chicken, and Vietnamese ham. The servers will also gladly make you a vegan option with tofu replacing the meat and holding the pâté. The hearty sandwich is priced at $5.95 and in Subway parlance is somewhere between the size of a six-inch and a foot-long. It is packed with so much flavor that if Subway spokesman Jared were to get his hands on the recipe, he might soon be morbidly obese again.

Vegetarians, vegans, look elsewhere. This lip-smacking, glistening, fatty, crunchy deliciousness is not for you, though you may long outlive us decadents and dance, ever-so-slim and healthily, on our graves. At least we will have known the pleasures of this sleek and cozy Delray Beach Asian boîte’s Spicy Crispy Duck Salad, a modest portion (with mighty impact) of mixed greens, red onion, and scallions tossed with chunks of the above-mentioned lip-smacking mallard in a “Thai dressing” that tastes suspiciously like little more than a splash of srihacha. It doesn’t take any more than that to make this dish a bracing experience in nuance and complexity, deeply layered in flavor and texture. Wash it down (or first cleanse the palate) with Lemongrass’ take on wonton soup, delicate of broth, dotted with dumplings, rich in flavor. Want veggies? Grab a seaweed salad with sesame dressing. But for indulgence, it’s all about the duck.

The cheese steak was born in South Philadelphia, circa 1930, at Pat’s King of Steaks. Decades later, you can find a version of this famous steak sandwich in nearly every city nationwide, but not every spot dishes out the real deal. But at the Philly Cheesesteak Experience in Fort Lauderdale, you’ll get both Northern natives and a true Philly sandwich, all in one shot. The Strauss family — who together have more than 20 years’ experience in the restaurant industry — began serving Broward County their authentic Philly cheese steaks six years ago, when they relocated to South Florida from New Jersey, opening a humble outpost at the Pompano Festival Flea Market Mall food court. Today, though, you’ll find this masterpiece of meat at their new eatery off Commercial Boulevard, where more than 100 sandwiches — and more than 200 pounds of beef — are ordered daily. It starts with the grill, where paper-thin slices of sirloin are chopped and seared alongside piles of tender grilled onions. All that juicy goodness is layered into a soft, chewy roll, shipped straight from Philly’s Amoroso bakery. It’s topped with a good dousing of hot, melty Cheez Whiz (although provolone, American, and mozzarella are also options). Try ordering yours “whiz wit’ ” — official Philly street slang for “with Cheez Whiz and onions.”

Do not pity the chicken. Sure, at first glance, its life may seem somewhat bleak. To be raised in captivity with the sole intent of being turned into a nugget may not strike one as a desirable existence. But rest assured, some chickens will go on to fulfill a greater fate. The lucky ones get sent over to the Mason Jar Café in Fort Lauderdale. It is there that they are elevated from simple cutlet to an orgasm-inducing fried piece of tongue candy. Every fried chicken that leaves the Mason Jar’s kitchen has been given no less than 30 minutes of intimate compliments. After all, each is rubbed with a seasoned batter that is rumored to come from Julia Child’s secret time capsule. Then every one is fried to crunchy perfection and smothered in a gravy so creamy and delicious that it must be kept in a box labeled “booger juice” to prevent sneaky busboys from stealing a taste. Any nincompoop can just drop a breast into a deep fryer and come back in five minutes. But it takes skill — nay, love — to make the best fried chicken.

There’s nothing more American than cheap beer, football, and chicken wings. And in the great old US of A, we like options. Seriously, do you know of any other country that dedicates an entire aisle in the supermarket to hundreds of choices of bread? Doubt it. It’s called democracy, baby. This local Miami Dolphins-themed sports bar (it was founded by former player Bob “Bru” Brudzinski) takes a cue from the country it represents with multiple options for chicken wing accoutrements — and plenty of inexpensive beer to pair, of course. Wings are available in ten ($9.95), 16 ($14.50), 25 ($23.95), and 50-piece ($41.95) options — screw the half-dozen and dozen selections. Sauces run the gamut, with choices ranging from mild, medium, hot, X-hot, and XX-hot to Triple Threat, a combination BBQ, sweet ‘n’ tangy, and hot sauce grilled with minced garlic. (Hint: Try the Triple Threat.) Here, it’s all about choices. It’s like the football fanatic’s slice of the American Dream.

A family-owned business for almost 30 years, Rob’s Bageland offers New York-quality bagels in a New York-style dining space — that is, rushed, brusque, and bustling. The service is always a bit harried, and you need to spit out your order quick, but with a never-empty steaming coffee cup and chewy, fresh bagel, you will not even care. In fact, between the quality of the bagel and the, err, efficient manner of the staff, you can close your eyes and pretend you’re back in NYC. And let’s not forget the schmear. At Bageland, you will find both Nova and smoked salmon. You can build your own — layering salmon over gobs of cream cheese with capers, fresh onion, and tomato — or you can ask for the salmon spread, which consists of enormous chunks of salmon stirred into the cream cheese for you. Either way, it’s as good as any bagel you’ll get in New York. There, we said it!

They say, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” It’s supposed to jump-start the metabolism and prevent binging later on. That’s fine and all, but when it comes to breaking the fast on a weekend, it should be all about feeding your hangover and heading straight back to bed — or the beach. This Fort Lauderdale breakfast spot will do the trick. The stick-to-your-bones, heartland-style delicacies are simple, filling, and utterly delicious. Everything is made onsite, completely from scratch, just like Grandma used to make (if she was from the South). The Southern Comfort ($13) is a massive order of homemade buttery biscuits with sausage gravy. The oven-baked pancake ($10), an inch-thick round of sweet airy batter, comes plain or filled with your choice of fruit served with maple syrup and a pat of butter. The East Coaster breakfast ($16) includes a six-ounce grass-fed steak, two eggs any way you like, fresh baked toast, and choice of cheese grits or Yukon gold potatoes. And those are just the tip of the iceberg in terms of traditional gut-busting options. No, it’s not the healthiest or the trendiest way to start the day, but perfect never goes out of style. Fortunately, you can drink your mimosa while braving the lines.

Sundays are supposed to be the most relaxing day of the week — the Lord’s day. And brunch is one of the most chilled-out meals. So Sunday brunch should be a soulful experience (whether you go to church first or not). That’s what you’ll get at Hot and Soul. The small Fort Lauderdale eatery prides itself on serving an array of international cuisine cooked with passion. Mom-and-pop team Christy Samoy and Mike Hampton have a mixed bag of experiences and background. Samoy’s family comes from the Philippines. Hampton hails from Pennsylvania. The two graduated from culinary school in New Orleans and have cooked everything from Italian and Mediterranean to modern American. It’s all evident in their menu. Pillows ($6) are NOLA-style fluffy beignets served with condensed milk. What the French Toast?! ($12) combines toast made of rice pudding with coconut almond sauce, mango strawberry glaze, and candied ginger. Steak Your Claim ($18) mixes culotte steak with gnocchi hash and fried egg for a twist on an American classic. And the Philippine breakfast ($16) features tocino (Spanish-style bacon) with fried rice and a fried egg. Yes, it’s all over the place, and the names might be strange. But it’s all good, and you can actually taste the soul. Consider this your foodie place of worship.

Just as the rest of the food world — and world in general — is going on about “craft” this and “artisanal” that, the java world has followed suit. And when it comes to straying from the mainstream in South Florida, one name comes to the forefront of the underground world: restaurateur and bar owner Rodney Mayo. Earlier this year, he teamed up with West Palm Beach coffee aficionado Sean Scott, founder of Habatat Coffee, to start a coffee shop and microroasting facility right on Clematis. Beans are painstakingly sourced from the best coffee regions around the world, ranging from South America to the South Pacific, and are served in every fashion imaginable, from fancy pour-overs to a plain old cup of coffee. And as good as the beans may be, the atmosphere is just as au courant. The vintage-inspired interior is filled with stylish coffee fanatics, college students, and hip folk conversing over steaming hot cups of brew until the wee hours of morning.

For decades, juicing was associated with crunchy-granola-macro-dieting hippie types while the mainstream was stuck on the whole Tropicana O.J. bandwagon. Over the past ten years, though, cold-pressed juicing has been gaining steam across the country. The method crushes and presses fruit and vegetables for a higher yield of liquid and maximum enzyme and nutrient extraction. Proponents claim that ingesting the brightly colored juices cleans, detoxifies, and purifies the body. While mail-order cleanses and cold-pressed juices have been on the market for quite some time, Myapapaya Juicery + Kitchen brought the concept to Fort Lauderdale a year and a half ago, and the trend has since blown up, with numerous cold-pressed juicers having sprouted up. They’re all good, and they’re all good for you, but the originators certainly deserve some more cred. Chef Adam Kanner, who formerly worked as a private chef, has created combos that are as flavorful as they are nutrient-dense. Try the Go Go Green ($10): It combines kale, spinach, romaine, celery, parsley, cucumber, lemon, ginger, and apple for a mixture that is rich in beneficial chlorophyll and phytonutrients. If you’re looking to go big, the spot also offers a number of cleansing options starting at $65 per day.

When it comes to longevity, this place is king. Sitting at the same West Palm Beach location for more than half a century, Howley’s opened its doors the same year the modern credit card came into existence (1950) — who would’ve thought both would still be so relevant today? While the essence has remained much the same, the spot has had some upgrades since Patrick J. Howley’s days; in 2004, Sub Culture Group (owners of Dada, Kapow!, Tryst, and more) took over the property, restoring it to its original glory while bringing in some modern comforts, like a digital jukebox, flat-screen TVs, live music, and, more important, a full bar. Even so, it still boasts diner classics at a price tag that’s not going to break the bank — in the 21st Century, anyway — with dishes like steak and eggs ($11.75), Momma’s Hot Cakes ($5.95), and country fried steak ($14.95).

Everyone was attempting the croissant-doughnut hybrid invented by that famous bakery in New York City, but Master Cake has one that will put you in a sugar coma. Large, flaky, deep-fried, and absolutely covered in sugar, the “dossant” (not Cronut — that’s trademarked) is a carbaholics dream, but it’s far from the only thing the kosher Master Cake Bakery has to offer. Run by Israeli-born, European-trained pastry chef Mickey Grunberger, Master Cake opened in September 2013 with a wide variety of pastries, custom cakes, breads, and other baked goods ranging from danishes and croissants to rugelach and challah bread. Sunday through Friday, the bakery also serves breakfast, lunch, and coffees — complete with kosher milk.

So you want to get away from your office, but you don’t have a lot of time. You want to sit down to a hot meal, but you don’t want to pay for the service. Most important, you want something beyond the usual fare you’ll find at most speedy lunch service spots. A good (read: cheap) buffet can split the lunch-quandary atom perfectly, and Bombay Cafe in Fort Lauderdale is just the spot. This is some of the best, authentic Indian cuisine you’ll find in these parts — including vindaloo, marsala, butter chicken, and curry — and from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. every weekday, you have access to the entire buffet for about ten dollars. You’ll indulge your inner foodie on the cheap, hidden in the cool, dark recesses of the restaurant and then suddenly jet back out into the sunlight, back to work and real life.

With the advent and subsequent proliferation of the croissant-doughnut hybrid, the humble fried pastry ring has gotten a haute makeover this year. In fact, gussying up the working man’s foods has become quite the trend in general — just look at the popularity of chicken and waffles, not to mention truffle fries. But some things are better left alone, and the doughnut is one of them. It should be a highly caloric, artery-clogging, diabetes-inducing round pastry of fried heaven. If this is your idea of the perfect doughnut, Grampa’s Bakery should be your destination. Family-owned and -operated since 1957, just the name inspires confidence that this doughnut will be the real deal, not some highly paid chef’s interpretation. The entire menu is classic American dinner-table fare, from roast chicken to meat loaf. But we’re not here for protein — we’re here for carbs. The doughnuts are made fresh — as is everything in the pastry case — on the premises daily using old-fashioned equipment and from-scratch mix.

Today’s happening downtown in Delray would be as unrecognizable to time travelers from 50 years ago as it will probably be to us 50 years from now. But a few things remain delightfully constant, and Doc’s All American is one of them. Doc’s has been serving classic Archie Comic Book-esque foods like burgers, hot dogs, and fries since Frankie and Annette were still making those endless beach movies — that’s 1951, if all of those references are too old for you. The staff has had decades to perfect the milk shake, and boy, has it ever! You can have your shake made from the soft serve or the hand-dipped ice cream, with flavors like pistachio, cookie dough, toasted coconut, Snickers, and double-fudge brownie. Mix-ins abound, and — most important, if you give a damn about classic authenticity — the place actually has malteds.

Dessert used to be a special treat you had only on certain occasions. To the delight of our taste buds and the demise of our waistlines, this no longer seems to be the case. Even fast-food value meals come complete with dessert these days. So it takes a special treat that’s hard to come by to delight our jaded palates. While it’s not always on the menu, Ana Rivera’s passionfruit Valrhona white chocolate vol au vent is the culinary equivalent of a dreamy cumulus cloud. Sweet yet slightly tart passionfruit filling is encased in lofty layers of buttery puff pastry. It’s rounded out with the smooth and creamy texture of high-quality Valrhona white chocolate, which adds just a hint of fresh milk and vanilla. The mix of flavors and textures is just ethereal.

Everyone has a version of the perfect margarita. Some say it’s as simple as fresh lime juice, a touch of agave, and a shot or two of good tequila. Others prefer fruit-infused simple syrups and bold flavors to make a high-end, sophisticated drink. For us, the real secret to a good margarita is balance. If the proportions are right, it can be one of the most seductively delicious cocktails you’ll ever taste. And the newly opened El Camino in Delray Beach has the margarita mastered. If you’re split between old-fashioned or fancy — or if you desire variety — you’ll get it all here. The bar features more than 200 tequilas, everything from small-batch boutique labels to big-name favorites. When it comes to margaritas, the menu offers several takes, from the 50/50 (a smoky mescal and blanco tequila paired in one) to a spicy little chili-rubbed mango number (served with a dried chili pepper). The strawberry and guava takes are just as good, but the best remains the tried-and-true original. The classic is bar manager and co-owner Brian Albe’s secret weapon, equal parts agave nectar, fresh lime juice, house lime bitters, and blanco tequila. When happy hour strikes, there’s one — or three — calling your name at just $5 a pop.

A dark hole in the wall, this cavernous dive is a craft-beer geek’s respite from the dude/bro-overrun area that has become Himmarshee Street. With close to 90 brews available, it’s one of the largest collections around town. Anyone and everyone can find something to tickle their taste buds: The selection encompasses all areas of the beer world, with 17 on tap (14 of which are craft) and at least 65 bottles. Miller Lite, Bud, and all the mass-produced commercial brews of the U.S. and beyond? They’ve got ’em. Crafts from California’s Stone and Michigan’s Founders? Yup. Local favorites like Funky Buddha, Wynwood, and Due South? This place has it all. You’d have a hard time finding a better place to get together with your high-brow, micro-loving sister and your philistine Heineken-fan dad. Here, it’s come one, come all; no one’s going to judge.

Rice krispy treat, French toast, peanut butter and jelly, sweet potato casserole, blueberry cobbler, maple bacon coffee… No, this is not your dream 2 a.m. buffet list. These are real beer flavors brewed close to home at the Funky Buddha Brewery. This lineup of culinary-inspired liquid creations (ranging in price from $5 to $7) is putting South Florida’s beer scene on the map — a massive feat, considering how far behind Florida has been on the craft-beer train. While the Funky Buddha name and bevs have been on the tips of hard-core beer fans’ tongues for years, since the original Funky Buddha Lounge & Brewery began brewing small batches in Boca Raton, this mammoth, 18,000-square-foot brewery opened just last year and immediately garnered a thirsty following. The new brewery provides the bigger space necessary for hosting bottle-release festivals and equipment big enough to crank out kegs for distribution. While the rest of the country is clamoring to get its paws on some of the famous Maple Bacon Coffee Porter, we get to sit back, relax, and take a sip.

The terms “deco glam” and “chill” sound like night and day; however, at this place, the contradictions seem to work. The window-encased space is filled with modern retro furniture, chrome accents, trendy lighting fixtures, and stunning terrazzo floors, all of which are illuminated by a soft purple glow at night. It’s trendy and inviting at the same time. While the décor is definitely notable, the wine and location are the real draws here. Located next to the Classic Gateway Theater, it’s the ideal solution to any date night. Indoor and outdoor tables offer a prime view for people-watching couples heading to dinner and theater-going types on the way to catch an indie flick. With more than 50 wines available by the tasting, glass, or bottle, it’s the perfect place to catch a buzz before heading into your movie or to wind down at the end of the night.

Size does matter —  in the wine department. When it comes to securing the perfect vino to pair with that steak, one page is just not going to cut the muster. Sorry. While most dining establishments offer page after page of the same mass-produced vino, there are restaurants that really do pump up their wine lists. Hollywood Prime has one of the biggest. The AAA Four Diamond-rated steak house was awarded the Wine Spectator 2013 Best of Award of Excellence. (Only a few thousand restaurants receive such a designation by the esteemed publication.) Sommelier Laura Romano has compiled a selection of more than 600 vinos from around the world. Although the choices are extensive, the magazine hails the restaurant’s strengths as moderately priced bottles from California and Bordeaux. It has bottles ranging from a $39 2010 Hess Select Chardonnay from Monterey to a $3,000 1999 Château Lafite Rothschild shipped over from Pauillac. With an inventory of more than 6,000 bottles, the offerings spread across 17 pages. If you’re looking to geek out over some nice wines, try this place on for size.

In South Florida, ordering a frozen drink for us natives has completely lost its thrill. If you’re looking to add an element of dramatic performance to your cocktail experience, then tap into Tanzy inside the iPic theater in Boca Raton. Here, mixologist and master sommelier Adam Seger — dubbed the “spirits guru” by Food & Wine magazine — offers a taste of something unique. His master creation is the Tanzy Liquid Nitrogen -189° C, a drink named for the temperature at which liquid nitrogen boils. What happens when you use this mysterious ingredient to create a cocktail? Instant. Frozen. Drink. The bartender starts by whipping liquid nitrogen into a metal bowl with a whisk, slowly adding a laundry list of liquor, including Moët & Chandon Imperial, orange and Key lime sour, Grand Marnier, and Belvedere vodka infused with Rare Tea Cellars lemon peel. As the liquid nitrogen begins to boil and smoke, it creates tiny crystals, a texture much finer than those created using a standard blender and ice. The result: a smooth, creamy cocktail delivered with show-stopping mixology performed right in front of your eyes. Forget the movie you came to see.

High-end watering holes imitating classic cocktail culture are totally in vogue these days. Nationwide, even here in South Florida, it’s a return to drinking decadence, if you will. And no place does it better than HMF, the wine and cocktail bar at the Breakers in Palm Beach. Named for the Breakers’ founding father, Henry Morrison Flagler, the majestic lounge is designed to capture the essence of the golden era of Palm Beach. Nestled on the site of the historic Florentine Room, where decades of socialites and Hollywood elite reigned supreme, HMF is every bit the glamorous beauty it suggests. The menu is equally glitzy, with its carefully curated list of classic cocktails that includes a truly awe-inspiring martini, the Palm Beach Lady. As the name suggests, it’s a fancy drink for a fancy woman. It’s also a modern take on the retro classic, the Pink Lady — the Cosmopolitan of the 1930s. A favorite of flappers and society matrons, the basic recipe calls for gin, grenadine, heavy cream, and a single egg white, shaken vigorously with ice and served in a chilled martini glass with a delicate froth at the lip. Today’s version at HMF combines the seductive taste of Nolet’s Silver gin, a rich and spicy liquor that highlights white pepper and lemon notes. It’s given a touch of sugar with grenadine, a bit of tang from maraschino liqueur, and half-and-half for a smooth finish. Delightful and edgy at the same time, just like your favorite dame.

Last night was one of those nights. Today is one of those horrendous hungover mornings. Your head is pounding; your stomach aches; the sight of sunlight makes you want to vomit; you can barely get your brain together to figure out how to deal with it. You need some hair of the dog. You, fine friend, need a bloody mary. Sure, you can find a mixture of vodka and tomato juice at just about any place with a liquor license. And yeah, it will help you wash away your pain. But you’re under the weather today; you deserve to treat yourself to something special. You deserve brunch and a bloody at Blue Moon Fish Co. The beloved waterfront restaurant offers a selection of creative bloody marys ranging from traditional with celery and olives ($8) to Fiery Maria, composed of Avion tequila, chipotle-spiked bloody mary mix, cilantro, and garlic with a garnish of lemon and lime ($12). Whichever potion you choose, it’ll have you up and running (or back on the couch) in no time.

There’s this idea that cocktails aren’t serious unless they’re served in a dimly lit bar by a bartender (or mixologist, sorry) donning suspenders and an ironic mustachio. Sure, this caricature knows how to make a mean Manhattan and some other dark-liquor drinks. But that’s only one small subset of the cocktail world. It’s all about options, people. And when you’re melting away in the South Florida heat, a heavy winter whiskey drink is only going to add to the pain. Sometimes you need a lighter and more refreshing change. That’s when you need to come to this place. With a large outdoor bar (and another dim air-conditioned indoor drinking option), Jack’s Grumpy Grouper is the Florida version of the cocktail connoisseur’s dream. Where most bar programs these days are focusing on bourbons and whiskeys, the staff here is mixing up classic tikis and inventive takes on pre-Prohibition drinks. The ubiquitous mojito is enlivened in the namesake Jack’s Mojito with house-infused golden delicious apple rum ($8). The average Manhattan is refreshed with freshly grated ginger and George Dickel No. 12 whiskey in the Ginger in the Rye ($8.50) — it’s a cool and invigorating take on a strong spirit. Uninspiring vodka is kicked up a notch in the Hibiscus Fizz ($8.50), with house-infused strawberry vodka, fresh lemon, and homemade hibiscus topped with Champagne. Drinks are just as “crafted” as at the speakeasy, but you can rock up in a pair of shorts and flip-flops without feeling out of place.

Although it’s crammed into just another strip mall hugging the shores of Commercial Boulevard, Fort Lauderdale’s Sheila’s Conch and Wings is a welcome shelter for the weary. A grass roof slides down to glass front doors; inside, simple tables are laid out in a room painted the same bright yellow as the Bahamian flag’s center stripe. And although the menu is heavy on fare from the islands — including killer conch fritters and plantains — the real business here is the wings. Sheila’s has somehow figured out the sacred, magical, fabled recipe for chicken wings that are the perfect balance between succulent meat and crispy goodness. Basically this is as close as you’re going to come to setting off a fireworks display on your taste buds without causing first-degree burns (note: You might get some third-degree ones, though — the “spicy” topping is a sparkler). Until last year, Sheila’s operated out of a location on Southern Boulevard in West Palm Beach. The 561’s loss is the 954’s incredible gain.

You’ve finally decided to jump headfirst into Asian cuisine. Rather than pick up run-of-the-mill curry paste, you’re doing it on your own, from scratch. Now, you just need to pick up the ingredients. The recipe calls for lemongrass, Thai red chilies, galangal, fish sauce, shrimp paste, palm sugar, kaffir lime leaves, and a bunch of other crazy ingredients. You’ve been to Publix — no luck. Whole Foods isn’t cutting it either. You need an Asian market, like, yesterday. You need to come here. Vietnamese in orientation, the shop specializes in ingredients from around the continent, spanning from Southeast Asia to India to China and Taiwan. Whether you’re looking for Japanese miso, Thai chili sauce, or fresh Chinese bitter melon, this place has it all. In addition to packaged sauces, dry goods, housewares, and frozen products, it offers exotic produce and a selection of meat and seafood. There you have it: Asian ingredient problem, solved.

In the not-too-distant past, few individuals knew the wondrous flavors of pho. The traditional Vietnamese street food bursts with flavor from a slowly simmered stock chock-full of spices like cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, coriander, and cloves. The decadent broth is finished with noodles, meat, chilies, and fresh herbs. It’s so good, CNN Travel listed it as one of the 50 Best Foods in the World. That being said, finding a decent bowl is not easy within the confines of Broward and Palm Beach counties. To get the crème de la crème, you need to head to the Asian strip of State Road 7 — you’ll know you’re there when the shop signs are in unrecognizable languages. When you get there, look for Pho Hoa. The kind souls at this international Vietnamese chain have broken down the menu into sections for beginners, regulars, and seasoned professionals. The latter is rife with innards and off-cuts of meat (think tripe and tendon) that might turn off neophytes but will have pho-natics — pun totally intended — going pho-king crazy with delight.

The idea of ordering food from a Chinese taco truck sounds both enticing and a little scary. It’s a melding of two cultures that would seem to have absolutely nothing in common. But when the late-night craving can’t tell the difference between General Tso’s and asada skirt steak, we’re all in. The man behind this unusual East-meets-West marriage of cuisine is none other than David Peck, former chef for Tap 42 turned “chief chaco” thanks to his concept, dubbed Box of Chacos. From North Miami to Fort Lauderdale, Peck serves specialties like the Tio Tsao’s five-spice pork with a spicy green salad, queso, sweet Chinese soy, and a spicy mayo or the Pink Chaco, with seared ahi tuna and sesame salad. Part of the success comes from Peck’s attention to detail and an uncanny ability to fuse flavors — something he learned from Mark Militello’s namesake restaurant. But it was at sushicentric Nobu in Dallas where Peck developed a palate for Asian fare, while Texas provided a wealth of topnotch Tex-Mex. And there you have it: everything to love about both cultures, wrapped into a single tortilla, priced reasonably from $3 to $6. Each Chacos taco is sold à la carte, including oddball items like the Spammers: two thick slabs of Spam fried and served with Colby Jack cheese and paired with a spicy kimchi slaw. Vegetarians, have no fear. There’s also a meat-free number, the Shaolin Veg, which highlights deep-fried and breaded avocado with quinoa and spicy mayo. Go ahead and get your chaco on.

Why? If it’s one thing chef Roy Villacrusis does best, it’s sushi. His new restaurant is partly thanks to partner Charlie Soo, chef and owner of Talay Thai Cuisine, who had the foresight to partner with Villacrusis to create a commingling of creative sushi and sashimi alongside his own modern interpretations of traditional Thai cuisine. Here, the sushi is more a creative journey than regular roll-out. The chef-driven menu rotates often depending on what’s in store at the local Asian markets. While sushi is entirely Japanese, Villacrusis doesn’t stop there when deciding what he’ll make, taking inspiration from dishes he’s sampled across Asia from places like Hong Kong, Indonesia, and China. Although the restaurant seats 45, you’ll want to nab a spot at the four-seat sushi bar where Villacrusis dishes out a five-course tasting menu for $55. Feeling adventurous? He won’t stop until you say “when” if you can pony up per person for his omakase dinner; so far, he’s managed to churn out as many as 24 plates in one sitting. Here, exotic ingredients take center stage but can push comfort zones. Most recently he’s worked with whelk (sea snail), and one of his favorite dishes combines eel, foie gras, and banana crème brûlée. Don’t be scared! Aah Loi is the Thai word for “delicious.”

With the rise of veganism and ethical eating, steak houses have started getting a bad rap. Aside from the whole animal-death thing, there’s a new study about the ill effects of meat-eating coming out, like, every other day of the week. But Butcher Block specializes in local and all-natural ingredients from sustainable farms in Florida and throughout the United States. The steak is from grass-fed cows, sourced directly from Creekstone Farms, which focuses on selling high-quality, pasture-raised meat to some of the best restaurants in the country. Though it’s not your run-of-the-mill steak, the prices are not unreasonable. A massive 32-ounce porterhouse costs 79 bucks, while a more reasonable six-ounce filet goes for $29. Between the warm and fuzzy feelings and the damned good food, you’ll be as happy as a pig in you-know-what by the time you leave.

Some cultures take seafood more seriously than others. The Japanese are best-known for their love of fresh, raw sushi. Peruvians are all about  citric-acid-marinated ceviche. Spaniards love their paella. And Greeks are recognized for their simple grilled fish. The newest concept from Buckhead Life Restaurant Group, this high-end seafood spot on Las Olas takes cues from CEO Pano Karatassos’ heritage. While it offers a wide array of composed dishes, its signature is its diverse selection of whole fish cooked in a Greek skara. Fresh local and imported fish (Buckhead Life also owns a seafood import business, so its fish is served within 48 hours of being plucked from the sea) are cooked in the traditional basket, which sits atop a charcoal grill, and are served with customary Greek ingredients: olive oil, lemon, oregano, and Santorini capers. From rarer selections like dorade royale (a Greek fish similar to red snapper) and Dover sole to local snapper, the options here are about as fresh as you can find — even if they required a flight over from the Mediterranean.

Sure, we’re surrounded by beaches and water, but there’s something about the Caribbean that is way more exotic and interesting. Maybe it’s the crystal-clear waters, the lush green foliage, the mountains and hilltops with panoramas that seem to never end, or the bass-thumping music. Or maybe it’s the fiery foods. While it’s easy to find Jamaican jerk, Cuban ropa vieja, or Dominican sancocho in South Florida, Puerto Rican cuisine is limited. La Cocina Puertorriqueña makes up for the lack. The Miramar restaurant offers a taste of the island through its weekly live salsa and flavorful authentic fare. The spot serves mofongo ($5.95 to $16.95), the national dish of Puerto Rico, which consists of fried green plantains mashed together with garlic and spices served with savory sauce and proteins ranging from shrimp in red sauce to masitas fritas (pork chunks).  If that’s not your thing, try the plato boricua ($13.95), a dish traditionally served around Christmas that’s composed of shredded pork topped with strips of lightly sautéed onion, rice, pigeon peas, and a pastel (stewed shredded pork encased in adobo- and cumin-seasoned plantain dough cooked in a banana leaf). The only other way you’ll find Puerto Rican food this good is a trip to the island itself.

There are many fine Indian restaurants in South Florida that offer an all-you-can-eat lunch buffet in the afternoon and entrées served with rices and the oven-baked flatbread known as naan. Woodlands follows this template exceptionally well, but what makes this Indian restaurant in an unassuming minimall extraordinary are its rarer delicacies from the South of India. Chief among the savory treats are the dosas: crepes made of lentil and rice flour stuffed with potatoes, spinach or 19 variations that range in price from $7.95 to 11.95. Folded into a triangle that outsizes the plate it is served on, a dosa will appear large enough to feed a battalion, but you should save room for dessert, as the place offers halwa (a sweet confection of almond or carrot) as well as ice creams of mango, pistachio, and more. The entirely vegetarian restaurant marks the menus with V for any item that can be prepared vegan, including the apple ice cream.

Italian fare in the United States tends to be dominated by meatballs and the ubiquitous red sauce. It’s delicious, yes, but not necessarily the most authentic. Italian-American is a thing in and of itself. For the most part, legitimate Italian cuisine comes only from ridiculously expensive, fancy-pants spots. Such food is exquisite but pricey. Only, like, 1 percent of the population can do high-end Italian regularly. For everyone else, there’s Cafe la Buca. Owned by Napoli native Marco Spina and his family, this casual Pompano Beach eatery specializes in rustic Southern Italian cuisine at affordable price points: Dinner for two will run you around 80 bucks. The menu changes every day based upon what’s around and what looks good to Spina. (You can call in the morning to find out the specials for the night.) It offers classics like papardelle Bolognese, fresh gnocchi, and linguini with clams. Pizza is made from an oven brought over from Naples. Although the pizza and pasta are main parts of the draw, simply prepared seafood and meats are also available on a nightly basis. Expect to see items like grilled filet mignon and lamb chops with spinach and balsamic rosemary sauce. Be sure to call ahead for a reservation, as these seats fill up days (if not weeks) in advance. It truly is that good.

Food always tastes best in its country of origin. Baguettes are crisper and loftier in France. Curries are hotter in Thailand. Pastas are more toothsome in Italy. Schnitzel is more, well, schnitzely in Germany — you get the point. When the craving for wursts and dunkel hits, you need to find a place that honors its German heritage. Cue Old Heidelberg. Step through the doors and you’ll be transported to another world; it feels like you’ve been transplanted in an Oktoberfest hall. The space is dimly lit with dark wood walls, stained-glass light fixtures, and German knickknacks all around. Female servers and bartenders don traditional dirndls, and some have German accents as well. As kitschy as it may be, the place is legit. The fare is about as authentic as you can find in South Florida. Selections range from common weisswurst ($12.95) and wiener schnitzel ($8.95) to specialties like rouladen ($17.95), a dish of thinly sliced, seasoned, and stuffed beef served with mashed potatoes, dumpling, and cabbage. All of which is easily washed down Deutschland-style with a nice big beer. The restaurant boasts a nice selection of imported German brews ranging from refreshing Weissbier to light lager to full-bodied dopplebock — and yes, you can drink it out of a boot. Save yourself the airfare; come here.

In South Florida, there are several signs that indicate you’ve found a good Chinese restaurant. One: The majority of the customers appear to be Chinese. Two: Said customers are not speaking English. Three: There’s neither too much nor too little Oriental gaud. Four: Chicken feet are on the menu. If you find three out of four, you’ve discovered a good Chinese restaurant. If you’ve hit all four nails on the head, chances are you’ve landed at Pine Court Chinese Bistro. This push-cart-style dim sum spot is not for the faint of heart. With an array of unidentifiable delicacies and a language barrier between you and many of the servers, it’s not always easy to surmise what exotic ingredients are finding themselves in your mouth — just go with it. From chicken feet ($3.95) to beef tendon ($3.95) to bao ($3.25) to shrimp dumplings ($4.50), everything here is an adventure for your taste buds. Don’t worry, though, if you have a picky-pants on your excursion — it offers an à la carte menu, with pictures, in English.

“I, T — — — , an adult residing at — — — — — , being of sound mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and codicils previously made by me. As most of my close friends and associates will already know, my life has been consumed in recent years by one overwhelming passion: Carl’s Seafood and Jamaican Cuisine. Many have scoffed at my enthusiasm for this Tamarac eatery. Many have grown distant due to the all-consuming need to ingest Carl’s as often as possible. These people are all low fools. My worst moments — Missy leaving me for Alejandro; the death of Snuggles; Election Day 2008 — have been balmed by Carl’s curry goat with white rice. My most wonderful achievements — the Yalies topping Harvard in overtime; Election Day 2000 — have been made all the better with the restaurant’s oxtail. Yes, it’s not much to look at, just a stand in Tamarac with no seating and a slow line out the door. But it is my life. Therefore, when I have passed on to my just rewards, I request that my body be burned and my ashes be scattered in Carl’s brown stew and that the container be placed in the family crypt. Then I will marinate in the deliciousness forever.”

Las Colinas is the spot where la familia orders from every time they’re in town. Like so many SoFla gems, it sits in an unassuming strip mall, but a large mural of el país de origen and a second landscape with macaws and toucans set it apart. The ropa vieja ($6.95) melts on your fork, soaked in a sharp but sweet tomato base. Churrasco ($11.95) will blow your gringo friends’ minds: tender, pink, and so much juicier than anything they could try to cook up (Q: “What’s this green stuff?” A: chimichurri). The sweet plantains ($2.50) come no-strings-attached, meaning the fruit is perfectly ripened and leaves nothing to pick out of your teeth. Black beans are made with silky poblano peppers and onions and pair perfectly on a cloud of white rice. Score a Cubano especial ($5.79) — a Cuban sandwich plus side — and you’ll make out with lunch for under ten bucks. The tip is to call ahead so you can let the concentrated smell of your diet-breaking lunch whisper sweet nothings into your mouth before you find somewhere private to have your way with it. Trust us, nobody in public needs to see what you’re about to do.

Mexico’s food and drinks (tequila and mezcal namely) may be trending among hipsters, making the simple, honest cuisine just as pretentious as suspenders and mustachios. But that’s not how it’s supposed to be; real Mexican fare is freaking delicious and laid-back, with not even the slightest hint of irony. That’s exactly what you’ll find at Chapultepec. The no-frills restaurant serves authentic Mexican breakfast, lunch, dinner, and late-night tacos in a come-as-you-are setting. Whether dining in for huevos rancheros ($4.99) at 10 a.m., tortas ($5) for lunch, chicken mole ($8.99) at 7 o’clock in the evening, or $2 tacos al pastor from the late-night taco stand in the parking lot after the restaurant closes, you’ll find piquant, authentic fare without all the trendy accoutrements — no reclaimed wood, Edison bulbs, or über-expensive urban industrial ornaments decorate this place. Expect to find yourself surrounded by a hodgepodge of patrons. No matter what time you arrive, you can expect to see whole Spanish-speaking families, leathery sunburnt locals, on-duty cops, and construction workers straight off a job site stuffing spicy foods into their faces. This place is about as real as you get — even if it, somewhat ironically, looks like a scene from the Village People’s YMCA.

In Peru, ceviche is typically consumed on the beach; in fact, it’s not uncommon to find sand in the bottom of its serving dish. If you’re looking to get a legit Peruvian experience, you really should be near the shore (even if you’re not actually in the sand). You really should try Ceviche by the Sea. The atmosphere is a bit more sophisticated than what you’ll find at an oceanfront picnic — or most Broward Peruvian restaurants, for that matter. The modern décor is comfortable yet somewhat elegant. And the fare is considered Peruvian fusion; presentation is a big part of the experience. Causas ($11 to $17), cold mashed potato cakes topped with sauce and protein, are elevated with ingredients like avocado mousse, sweet potato, and spicy aioli. Ceviche ($15 to $29) is offered with all the spicy dressings, from traditional to aji amarillo to Asian-inspired Nikkei. All the old reliables are served here but prepared with the restaurant’s own take: aji de gallina ($11 for lunch), a spicy and creamy chicken dish; chaufa ($11 for lunch), Chinese-style fried rice; and papa a la huancaina ($7), a spicy potato salad made with the national favorite yellow chili.

Fort Lauderdalians have been slowly sprawling away from tourist-ridden strips of bars and eateries and making their way to residential and industrial parts of town. Hey, nothing against spring breakers and flocks of lobsteresque Midwestern tourists — they contribute heavily to the local economy. It’s just it’s nice to have a secret every now and then, a place that lies way off the beaten track, a spot that caters to locals, a hangout with a cool vibe and good eats. Set among the warehouses and lumberyards south of State Road 84, the Keg on Sixth is hard to find, unless you know where you’re going. But it’s well worth the search on the GPS. With an urban industrial vibe complete with graffiti murals by local artists, the spot is like a cool underground escape from the pomp and pretension of much of South Florida — and the fist-pumping, beer-pong crowds that like to overtake our town from time to time. The bar offers a wide selection of craft and commercial beer as well as wine on draft. The kitchen churns out a creative array of affordable global comfort fare all day long. For breakfast, you can grab a sausage sandwich ($6) or pork belly biscuits and gravy ($5) with coffee for less than ten bucks. Lunch and dinner includes divergent options. Fritto misto ($12) with shrimp cauliflower, pickles, and shallots with mustard vinegar are on the lighter spectrum. The old reliables are found with creative takes; the Keg Burger ($11) is glazed with stout and topped with Muenster, roasted tomato, and bacon pepper jam. What more could you want from an escape? It’s totally comfortable and completely out of the way.

For years, Bistro Mezzaluna sat in a small shopping center, quietly wowing customers with its Italian-American classics. After moving from its long-term locale to a space four times its size just a couple of years back, the place has increased its romance potential tenfold. A palatial piano bar is the perfect place to prep for the impending amore over a martini (or three). Two dining rooms boast pristinely set tables. Its outdoor patio offers a mood-setting cascading water fountain. With 14,000 square feet total, this place does love in epic proportions. However, even with the massive space, a meal here is an intimate experience. The secluded tables and booths are ideal for indulging in simple yet spectacular fare like shrimp and scallop ravioli ($27), 20-ounce bone-in rib eye ($48), and Maryland crab cakes ($29). Throw in a list of 300 wines and you and your sweetie are going to have one heck of an amorous night. Just hope it continues.

Some restaurants are known for great service, others are recognized for outstanding food, and some, well, some just have a great view. Hitting one nail on the head is good, but when it comes to an enjoyable dining experience, it’s nice to have it all. This place most certainly does. Located directly on the Intracoastal Waterway in Fort Lauderdale, Coconuts boasts a stunning yet laid-back atmosphere with food that’s just as good. The menu is heavy on seafood, but it’s a bit more upscale than your average shack on the water; most of the boats tied up to its docks are nicer than your run-of-the-mill dinghy. Think fish tacos ($14), New England-style  lobster rolls ($16), and crab cakes ($26) rather than buckets of things that have been deep-fried in old grease. Options for landlubbers are also present, with tropical-inspired takes on classic American dishes. Danish baby back barbecue ribs are slathered in a chipotle-pineapple barbecue sauce ($22) for a very Floribbean twist.

Nothing will take you back to childhood as quickly as a grilled cheese sandwich. Between the greasy Wonder bread and plasticized cheese, it’s like pure comfort in one convenient handheld package. As an adult, there are times when you’ll wish you could go back to being a kid; you had no responsibility, plenty of fun, and someone to take care of you when your tummy was upset (possibly from the processed ingredients in that sandwich). While they can’t help you with most of the above, the friendly staff of New York Grilled Cheese is here to provide warm and fuzzy feelings way into the wee hours of the morning. Open until 11 p.m. Monday through Wednesday and 3 and 4 a.m. the rest of the week, this Wilton Manors spot takes the humble (and kind of boring) grilled cheese sandwich to a whole new level. The Manhattan Grilled Mac ‘n’ Cheese ($8.50) takes American cheddar cheese and homemade mac ‘n’ cheese melted between a toasted country loaf for a combination that childhood dreams are made of. The Soho Sweet Cheeses! ($8.50) combines Brie, caramelized onions, crunchy bacon, and berry marmalade on toasted oatmeal wheat bread for an adult version most gourmands only wish they could have conjured on their own. Whether you’re just looking for something to cheer you up after a long night or you’re in need of some carbs and grease to soak up copious amounts of booze in your belly, this is the ideal place to stuff your face late at night.

Say what you want about the little buggers, but kids know how to have a good time. As you get older, you may develop stronger social skills — you at least learn how to ensure snot isn’t hanging from your nose upon leaving the house — but you rarely have an exhilarating time anymore. If you’re looking to entertain some little folks or you just want to partake in a little fun yourself, you need to come to this place. Deli Inn offers a classic selection of diner fare, like buttermilk pancakes ($1.99 apiece), ham and cheese omelets ($7.49), country fried steak ($7.79), and a self-proclaimed famous Reuben ($8.39). Kid-friendly enough. But what sets this place apart is the service. Newbies get a free giant muffin their first time in the door, as well as songs, pranks, and a squirt to the face with a pretend camera that’s really a water gun. Beat that, Chuck E. Cheese.

“Does Fido want a bowl of water?”

“That would be great, thanks.”

“How about a treat?”

“He’d love that.”

Your server walks away and comes back with a massive plate of fries. No, it’s not good for the dog’s digestive system, but how could you deny that happy slobbering face? Don’t be surprised if this scene plays out at Tarpon Bend. The restaurant is one of the most animal-friendly you can find — as long as your dog is well-behaved — and many of the servers are just as excited to see your furry friend as they are to receive your tip when you leave. When you’re headed out to dinner, no need to leave Fido by his lonesome after you’ve already left him to his own devices for the workday. Get your four-legged guest a big bowl of water while you sip a beer, nosh on a burger, and watch the happy-hour crowd get its drink on. Who knows? Your little icebreaker might even help you pick up a dinner date.

The word “gastropub” was added to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary in August 2012, nearly a decade after the phenomenon left the shores of Great Britain to take root in the U.S. Hullabaloo is the latest concept from South Florida restaurateur Rodney Mayo. The concept is “craft” everything, from well-picked microbrews, artisanal fare, and boutique wines to handcrafted cocktails. Even the coffee is sourced from Mayo’s next-door small-batch roaster, Subculture Coffee. Try some charcuterie, wood-oven fired pizzas, and handmade pastas in the minimalist and clean setting — think New York City loft meets Little Italy. A wood stove is also the heart of the menu. Be sure to snag a spot across from the exposed prep area, which doubles as an intimate chef’s tasting area and offers an excellent view of the kitchen at work. The food is best complemented with a handcrafted cocktail, named after a music legend like Janis Joplin, Bob Marley, or Kurt Cobain. Small-batch bourbons, rum, tequila, and gin are paired with house-made bitters, fresh herbs, fruit purée, and exotic spices.

The 500 block of Clematis Street is paradise. Rodney Mayo has done his due diligence in transforming the tiny piece of downtown into an indie oasis, with his restaurants and bars over the years having included Respectable Street, the Lounge, Lost Weekend, and Hullabaloo (to say nothing of his establishments like Howley’s diner and Dada in other hoods). It’s a stretch of street for those unwilling to accept dress codes but in need of a guaranteed good time. There are good eats aplenty on the 500 block, but one rises to the top. LongBoards is the physical embodiment of South Florida in restaurant form. The vibe is straight chill, with surf videos running constantly. A giant bar looks like one big surfboard. Heck, there are even surfboard chairs. The choices measure up to the ambiance with a small, rotating beer tap, a worthy bottle selection, and a tropical cocktail menu. But it’s the happy hour that takes the cake… crab cake, that is. Five-dollar food bits include crab cakes, clams, a special tropical twist on chicken wings, and more goodies like $1 Gulf oysters and half off anything in your wildest imagination from behind the bar. These three hours of escape take place every day from 4 to 7 p.m., but if you don’t make it, you can still score a solid fish dinner or slick lobster Benedict at brunch. It’s the go-to spot that hits the spot. Take everyone you know.

Gluten seems to be in just about everything these days: beer, whiskey, processed food, soy sauce, sausages, deli meat, tea, freaking envelopes… the list goes on. Going gluten-free while eating out is even harder — if you don’t stick to plain, undressed salad, you have no idea what you’re getting. But here, not one single morsel of gluten is allowed to enter (employees are not even allowed to bring packed lunches for fear of contamination). This is the first place in Fort Lauderdale to earn the recognition of “Great Kitchen” by the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness (NFCA), and it caters to dietary ailments and restrictions of all kinds; peanuts, corn, and GMOs are also prohibited from entering the premises. Vegans, vegetarians, and flexitarians (those who still eat some animal proteins) are all welcome. The mostly organic fare is just as delicious as it is healthy. From raw, vegan zucchini puttanesca ($13.95) to a grilled chicken sandwich ($13.95) to quinoa cupcakes with seasonal fruit jam and goat cheese frosting ($5.25), this gluten-free place is sure to satiate your cravings and keep you safe. Suck it, gluten!

The real test of a vegetarian restaurant is not how many plant-based-dieters it can get through the door; it’s about bringing in the carnivores. If a vegan spot can get your average meat and potato lovers coming back for more, you know it’s worth your while. This vegan/gluten-free hot spot fills with people from all walks of life, from Lululemon-suited local yoga instructors to salty-dog yacht captains — and that’s exactly the goal. Owners and life partners Elena Pezzo and Charles Grippo aim to serve nutritious fare to the masses; it’s not about preaching to the healthy choir. Dishes like the Buffalo tempeh sandwich ($8) and the GBK burger ($10) were developed to please even the most veggie-averse. At the same time, “crunchier” options are just as pleasant. The kale salad ($7.99 to $13.99) with cubed tofu, bell pepper, cabbage, carrot, sprouts, and sesame is tossed in a firecracker dressing that is like fireworks in your mouth; even the most die-hard roughage resistors can’t help but love it. Judging by the diverse patrons — and the lines to the door — we’d say they’re succeeding in expanding the vegan repertoire of Fort Lauderdalians, one animal-free meal at a time.

In contrast to the dark wooden caverns that serve sports bar food items in the majority of Beach Place, Atlantic Surf Club emerges like a cool ocean breeze. With varying shades of blue, pops of orange, and accents of stainless steel, this place is the perfect frame for the stunning panoramas of the beach. Nautical light fixtures, eclectic barstools, and fashionable rustic woods are just as on point, creating a stylish yet laid-back beachy vibe. As on-trend as the décor may be, that’s not going to be the first thing you or anyone else will see; everything points to the view of the sea. The high-top tables, large open bar, and open window countertop seating are all about giving you what you went there to see: a perfect outpost for watching the waves gently rolling onto the beach — and all the good-looking, half-naked people running around in board shorts and bikinis.

Let’s face it. Your son’s little league team sucks. The outfield won’t stop picking their butts long enough to catch a pop fly, and your pitcher throws like a tired vegetarian. It’s OK. Not everyone is meant to be an athlete. But just because they can’t win like champions doesn’t mean they can’t eat like them. Every kid deserves a hamburger after a baseball game, even if that kid spent the entire game befriending ants at shortstop. And there’s no better place to eat away the sorrows of loss than Jack’s Old Fashion Hamburger House. Since 1972, Jack’s has been providing milk shakes to the athletically challenged and turning their heads when frustrated coaches slip a little vodka into their own shakes. And at $5.65 for a half-pound burger, you’ll still have money left over for the end-of-season pity trophies. You know, those really generic ones that say things like “Best Use of Lungs” and “Most Enthusiastic”? And, like all good “sad food,” it’s delicious and greasy. Just about good enough to make you forget that your son is never going to be Derek Jeter.

First, being comfortable eating alone in a public space should be on everyone’s personal to-do list. Second, we’re not saying you can’t take a friend or two along to Ninja Spinning Sushi; we’re just saying that if you really want to get the most out of the experience, you should try it alone. Also, if you’re not eating alone by choice, Ninja — run by the same group that owns Yakitori Sake House in Royal Palm Place — is the perfect spot, because there’s none of that dead, stare-off-into-space or pretend-to-play-with-my-phone-so-I’m-not-awkwardly-sitting-here-alone time. That’s because, at a spinning sushi bar, your participation is required. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, “kaiten zushi” is a revolving sushi bar where different-colored small plates run past you on a conveyor belt or — as in the case of Ninja in Boca Raton — on little boats in a stream. The different colors of the plates indicate the cost of the item you are grabbing. Each plate is like Japanese tapas, containing a few pieces of sashimi or a roll or a little pile of seaweed or squid salad. At the end of the meal, your stack of empty plates is tallied up and you pay your bill. Since this requires some attention and a lot of facing forward at a bar, you can see why it would lend itself to solo dining. And since you’re dining alone anyway, might as well stuff your face by taking advantage of the nightly happy hour from 4:30 to 7 p.m. and after 10 when select drinks are priced two-for-one and all the plates cost $3.

In 1956, things were different. You could smoke in hospitals, seat belts were merely a suggestion, and the world was always just minutes from nuclear annihilation. I said “different,” not “better.” But you could also always count on service. It meant something back then. Food came out in eight minutes, your coffee stayed full the entire meal (without any sneaky up-charge), and your servers didn’t work for you; they worked with you. You and your server were a team. Something else happened in 1956. Egg N’ You opened on the corner of North Federal Highway and NE 26th Street. And for the past 58 years, the team here has been upholding the standard of old-school service. Even on Sunday mornings, when the postchurch crowd comes rushing in with the holy spirit in their stomachs, you won’t wait more than ten minutes for a table. Your waitress has the menu memorized like the pledge of allegiance and won’t ever let you see the bottom of your coffee mug. The food comes out quickly and hot, and each table is equipped with its own castle of jellies to choose from. 1956 still exists at Egg N’ You. Minus all the terrible stuff.

Don’t get us wrong: We’re all about burgers and chicken wings. But sometimes the same old thing gets kind of, well, old. When we’re sucking down Randall-infused craft brew and Hendrix cantaloupe, dragon fruit, raspberry, and black pepper martinis, we’d prefer dishes equally inventive to soak it all up. How about lamb gyro croquettes ($7)? Lobster BLT tacos ($15)? Or Peking-style duck wings ($14)? If you’re looking for fare that creative, you need to be a bit more selective in which bars you want to frequent. Head to the Tipsy Boar. The Hollywood gastropub offers a selection of bar bites, appetizers, pizzas, burgers, salads, and large plate options, all with an original twist. Look, if you’ve managed to move from commercial to craft beers, don’t you think your food should also get an upgrade?

When it comes to beachfront dining, a few aspects are key: a stunning view, great food, and refreshingly potent drinks. This place takes care of all three. Owned by the Restaurant People, the group responsible for YOLO, Tarpon Bend, and Vibe, this Atlantic-side spot is its most food-driven concept to date. Executive chef Chris Miracolo has compiled a menu of global eclectic fare ranging from smoked Gouda and prosciutto mac ‘n’ cheese ($10) to chard-wrapped Scottish salmon ($26) to goat cheese croquettes ($7) to sushi to everything in between. While the ambiance is somewhat reminiscent of its predecessor YOLO, it offers more of a Southeast Asian resort-like theme — the perfect backdrop for watching the bold and the beautiful do their thing. Much of the crowd is into the whole see-and-be-seen scene, with many of them proudly displaying expensive-car keys tableside while fishing for hot dates. Whether you’re looking to eat well, enjoy the ocean breeze, or pick up an eligible (i.e., loaded or supersexy) date, this is the prime option on Fort Lauderdale Beach.

Of all the restaurant concepts, Italian can, surprisingly, be one of the hardest to execute. With fare so simple and straightforward, excellence depends on the freshness of the ingredients and details in the sauces, meats, cheeses, and pastas. Luckily, the new Jové Kitchen & Bar at the Four Seasons Palm Beach offers one of South Florida’s best takes on Italian, prepared to exacting standards. The dinner-only restaurant takes its name from the god of the sky in Roman mythology. Here, patrons will certainly find heavenly fare from Italian-born executive chef Mauro Zanusso, who delivers classic Italian cooking with a panache deserving of Palm Beach. The selections begin with the cicchetti menu: raw-bar items like oysters, stone crab, and caviar. A truly stellar dish can be found with any of the risottos, accented by royal trumpet mushrooms or butter-poached Maine lobster. For main plates, handmade pastas include fresh gnocchi with figs and herbs and bone-marrow ravioli with short rib. The bar is stacked with an impressive collection of eclectic premium Italian vermouths, grappas, and artisan liqueurs. Choose a wine from the list of more than 100. All this can be enjoyed whether dining alfresco on the outdoor terrace or amid the soft music playing in the restaurant’s elegant, luxe interior. Feeling extra fancy? Opt for the private cabana dining with views of the oceanfront pool. But perfection doesn’t come cheap: A typical dinner costs $150 to $225 per person.

Chef-owner Matthew Byrne and his wife, Aliza, seem to abide by two rules: Buy nothing but the highest-quality, freshest ingredients, and do as little to them as possible. Byrne and his wife are on-hand at their contemporary American brasserie every night. A Philadelphia native, Byrne has been cooking since he was 12 years old, and with some of the area’s top chefs. Years later, he took a job as the private chef to Tiger Woods, cooking for him at his Jupiter estate. Despite the glamorous position, Byrne desired his own restaurant, a place that would be an extension of his own family kitchen. Today, he and Aliza are close enough to walk to work — and often do. She will greet you at the door and seat you, while her husband cooks the line each night, just two sous chefs by his side. To keep the neighborhood-bistro vibe strong, they transformed the former Vagabond’s space into a living room of sorts, just ten tables inside (and six outside) with a separate chef’s room for private events. Dishes reflect years of cooking for people who have sophisticated palates and the money to spend on high-quality ingredients. That means daily deliveries of everything from seafood and meat to produce and seasonal flavors. There are a few staples Byrne will never lose, including his personal favorite dish: chicken schnitzel.

Eastern-dwelling South Floridian hate driving west of I-95. But if celebrity chef Michelle Bernstein — a vocal fan of this place — is willing to make the trek to Lauderhill from Miami, you should be able to head 20 minutes west. Besides, you might get the chance to bump into the amicable chef and her husband while grilling galbi gui ($24.95), a dish of succulent marinated short rib, over an open charcoal pit. It’s one of the few Korean barbecue places that allows guests to cook over flaming embers; others use gas or electric stoves, and the effect is nowhere near as flavorful, or entertaining. Dishes are served with an array of white bowls filled with diverse “banchan” (side dishes): spicy kimchee cabbage and zucchini, fish cakes, marinated seaweed, pickled veggies (some mild, others freaking hot). If cooking for yourself isn’t your thing, the prepared options are just as divine. Dolsot bibimbap ($12.95), white rice, carrots, cucumber, bean sprouts, nori, egg, and chili paste are served in a heated pot; the effect creates the perfect char on the rice lining the bowl. Hot pots ($11.95 to $14.95) brimming with spicy liquid, protein, and veggies burst with intricate spice and varying levels of heat. No matter what you choose, you’re in for a treat; everything is piquant, even the dishes that aren’t overly peppery. Just one trip to this bustling little spot will have you commuting back-and-forth for regular dinners in no time.

Chef/owner Philip Darmon is an Australian native who spent the past decade traveling the globe, cooking for the rich and famous aboard luxury motor yachts. With a pedigree such as that, one would assume he’d be dishing out expensive but minuscule portions of caviar and foie gras to businessmen and local TV stars. Not so. During the day, he’s plating up Nueske bacon, lettuce, tomato, and avocado sandwiches with fresh hand-cut fries ($11) for the populace, like you (although we wouldn’t be surprised to hear he has some high-end clients visiting often). Tucked just off Andrews Avenue on a side street in Fort Lauderdale, this neighborhood restaurant offers world-class fare in a friendly and casual environment. Many of his dishes on the weekly changing menu have a strong Southeast Asian or Mediterranean influence. From Thai duck salad with soba noodles, cilantro, sesame, and soy ($13) to crisp-skinned salmon over sunchoke purée, chive oil, and salmon roe ($24), each dish here feels just as special as dining on a yacht — even if you can’t afford to even step onboard one. And the wine list, curated with help from celebrity chef Angelo Elia, is just as exceptional.

Paula DaSilva is an all-around rock star in the kitchen. The Brazilian native and former Hell’s Kitchen contestant (she actually appeared on the show while working as chef de cuisine at 3030 Ocean) left the Broward restaurant scene to start 1500 Degrees in the Eden Roc. Her first year there, she earned a spot on Esquire‘s New Best Restaurants in America, and she’s gone on to participate in numerous James Beard House dinners since. If that doesn’t earn you kitchen cred, we don’t know what does. We were proud, obviously, but our hearts and palates yearned for DaSilva to return to Broward. Fortunately, our innermost wishes were granted. After her mentor, Dean Max, departed from 3030 Ocean last year, we got our girl back, and our little hearts couldn’t be more content. DaSilva has been reinventing the menu at the distinguished Fort Lauderdale restaurant with the rustic farm-to-table cuisine that made her a national culinary star. And we’ve been reaping the rewards with our taste buds ever since.