So they’re thinking of calling Dolphin Stadium “LandShark Stadium” after the lager. We can apparently blame Jimmy Buffett for this, as we can so so many other things that have gone wrong with this world. I was a wee child when I first heard the term land shark. It was a…
Legislation by Sunrise Sen. Nan Rich to make bestiality illegal in Florida passed the Senate this week only to stall in the House amid the chaos of trying to pass a budget in a year of financial turmoil.But you can bet Rich will introduce the bill a third time despite…
It’s an honor to be ridiculed by Tina Fey. Just ask Sarah Palin and the City of Cleveland. (If you have never seen the episode of 30 Rock in which Fey’s character, Liz Lemon, wants to “Flee to the Cleve” watch it. Now.)On 30 Rock last night, Fey bestowed her…
— How do we get all these shameless, grandstanding state reps? Adam Hasner, Nan Rich, it just gets so tiresome. Now listen to this from Rep. Ari Porth, a Democrat from Coral Springs: “I’m ashamed that my county has the unenviable distinction of being the pill-mill capital of the United States. We have the…
Yo, Jeff Carroll didn’t get laid much in his formative years. He had eczema in high school, wore glasses, and weighed about 125 lbs. When he finally got up the courage to ask out his first girlfriend, the relationship lasted about four hours. “It wasn’t easy for me to date,”…
See that? Two box-office-smashing, kid-friendly movie titles made into one! And we already have a screenplay, courtesy of the real-life 13-year-old boy (in the movie he’ll be 3, probably) who drove from Boca to Fort Lauderdale, bought a ticket with his dad’s credit card, and ended up in San Jose,…
I s’pose the guy who recently accused House Majority Leader Adam Hasner of “race-baiting” (and that would be me) should resist giving lectures about decorum. But I did not question the legitimacy of Hasner’s membership in the human race. Not like some Democrat who called him a “robot” after the…
I don’t know if you guys have heard about this thing called the swine flu, but apparently it’s pretty serious business. So serious, that serious businesses around South Florida are getting serious (and delirious) about enacting plans to prevent their employees from coming down with the dreaded virus. Unfortunately, saying…
A county selection committee today chose a Brazillian firm called Cepemar Environmental Services to take over the tank field at Port Everglades. It’s a big deal — and already reeks of undue influence by a key lobbyist. The firm, represented by lobbyist Bernie Friedman, will pay the county $1…
Last night’s game in Atlanta was one that makes any real basketball fan more intense and creates rivalries. Why? Well, a big part of it was that Atlanta proved itself to be a classless town. The crowd booing Dwyane Wade when he got up after banging his head on the floor after Josh Smith body-blocked…
Vern Buchanan has been a name bandied about in discussions over those two big political job openings in 2010 — U.S. Senator and Florida Governor. But the Republican congressman from Sarasota is not very familiar to voters across the state, and for the last few months he’s looked a bit…
That’s what Charles Schulze said to his companion of 20 years, Helen Smith, a moment before he jumped into a churning ocean to save two boys, aged 9 and 12, in danger of drowning Saturday at Pompano Beach.Schulze, a personal injury lawyer who lived mostly in the Washington, D.C., area,…
If you’re anything like me, you turned off last night’s playoff game at halftime. The Hawks already had a 23-point lead and Dwyane Wade probably had a concussion. Plus, Lost was on. I didn’t even want to see the results. I figured if John Locke can somehow summon the…
Don’t you love it when your local government acts swiftly and efficiently to protect the health of its citizens? Especially when those citizens are being threatened by evil boaters? Behold the tale of Broward County’s latest brilliance: Most Saturday mornings, members of the Blazing Paddles draw a small crowd to…
In October 2007, Katherine Olson was looking for work. Since graduating summa cum laude from St. Olaf College with a dual degree in theater and Hispanic studies, she had mostly cobbled together part-time jobs — waitressing, teaching Spanish, coaching high school speech. Olson was looking at nanny listings on Craigslist.org…
Detective Wants Help As the parent of a teenaged daughter, I can say that this incident was a tragedy (“Adrianna’s Fall,” Deirdra Funcheon, April 16). I’ve been assigned to revisit this case for Adrianna’s parents in the hope of bringing some closure and accountability to their daughter’s death. Only two…
On a treeless cement slab of Northwest Miami-Dade County, a swarm of spruced-up families filters into New Harvest Missionary Baptist Church. Terry Durham sits quietly on a folding chair in a cluttered office at the building’s rear. His knee bobs anxiously. He’s dressed with flamboyant confidence in white alligator-skin boots…
Just because I haven’t seen this published anywhere else, I’m putting up this message from Tribune Co.’s Randy Michaels regarding Orlando Sentinel Editor Charlotte Hall’s farewell speech as president of the American Society of News Editors. It’s an okay speech, but who are these “pundits” she’s talking about? And why is she whining about…
Claire Elford, widow of Craig Elford, one of two British tourists killed in February after a Porsche lost control and struck them on Seabreeze Boulevard in Fort Lauderdale, filed suit yesterday against the Porsche’s owner, Ryan LeVin, and his friend, Derek Cook, the Tamarac man who LeVin told police was…
It’s never a good sign when the studios won’t show us a movie in time for the print edition. That’s what happened with X-Men Origins: Wolverine. So with no review in the print edition of New Times this week, below is a late and very disappointing review.Without fail, the dullest…
When House Republicans caucus, I’ll bet it looks something like this: Star Wars-Imperial March – Click here for more amazing videosAmid all the other state budget crises, it’s not getting nearly enough attention, but the Florida Legislature is on the brink of giving the heave-ho to $444 million in federal…
Now I wish I hadn’t got my hopes up about these amazing Florida license plates. Here I was all ready to ask whether displayers of the crucified Christ plate would be forgiven for not obeying the new law for wearing one’s seat belt (because Jesus is riding shotgun, natch). But…
