Local Financial Analyst Packages Stanford Case for SEC

As we reported on this blog Friday, speculation has been flying through the financial community that Stanford et al could be operating an enormous Ponzi scheme a la Bernie Madoff. Now it’s official: The US Securities and Exchange Commission filed suit in Dallas Monday against Stanford Group Co., seeking to halt what…

Will Tiger Make His Return in South Florida?

Miami’s Doral Golf Resort & Spa certainly hopes so. There’s been speculation that Tiger Woods would return from his knee surgery at the course’s WGC-CA Championship March 12-15 — almost a month before the Masters is to begin. But at this weekend’s Allianz Championships in Boca Raton, golf buddy Mark…

Boxer Survives Phantom Headbutt

A bit of controversy at a boxing match this past weekend at the BankAtlantic Center, which hosted a WBC Championship bout between two super welterweights — Sergio Martinez, the interim champ, and Kermit Citron, a former IBF champ who used to train in West Palm.HBO showed the fight, which was…

Salary Freeze At Tribune Co., Sun-Sentinel

The Tribune Co., whose 10 newspapers include the Sun-Sentinel, Orlando Sentinel, Chicago Tribune, Baltimore Sun, and Los Angeles Times, yesterday announced a salary freeze for 2009. It affects all non-union employees (for the small percentage of union employees, “the issue will be addressed in collective bargaining”). Tribune chief administrative officer Gerry Spector writes in his email…

Iranian Night-Goggle Lady Has Words for Obama, Too

 Shahrzad Mir Gholikhan is a 31-year-old Iranian woman accused of trying to export night-vision goggles to Iran. This detail probably means she won’t ever be a confidant of the Obamas, but that hasn’t stopped Gholikhan from offering the First Couple her thoughts.Juice recently uncovered a letter Ms. Gholikhan penned to…

Can’t. Stop. Coaching.

You’ve got college coaches like Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden whose longevity is equal parts genius and ego — they stay as coach in part because they can’t bear to give control to someone else. Then you have coaches like Rollie Massimino, who won a national championship at Villanova in…

Can Rich Kids Rock?

Meet The Hurricanes. The pint-sized rockers from Palm Beach, ages 11 and 12, have the most lopsided industry advantage of any band since The Strokes. To wit: They practice next door to the Mar-a-Lago, a former Trump property. The drummer’s daddy owns a 10,000 foot, $6.5 million house on the…

Does Michelle Obama Have “Thick Rhinoceros Skin”?

Just before the 2000 presidential election, Robert Watson, associate professor of American studies at Lynn University in Boca Raton, decided to rally his fellow presidential scholars and collaborate on The Report to the First Lady, a 200-page book of advice for the incoming woman in the White House. One expert…

Confessions of a Shopaholic as Metaphor for Our Current Economic Meltdown

  I confess to having watched “Confessions of a Shopaholic” last weekend at a movie theater in Boca Raton. And, I confess to hating it. Full disclosure: Like the movie’s protagonist, I was once a financial journalist who lived in Manhattan. But that’s not why I subjected myself to this flick. My sister –…

Wait… We Give Inmates Belts?

We must, because according to a Miami Herald headline, the inmates are tightening them. Just ask D’Angelo from The Wire whether belts should be allowed in prison. Well…I guess we can’t ask him now, can we? Then again, maybe the Herald’s just being metaphorical. Florida is coping with the effects…

Palm Beach Post Embarrasses Self, Re-Endorses Corrupt Goldsmith

In a rather subversive answer to my recent blog post that exposed Palm Beach mayoral candidate C. Gerald “Gerry” Goldsmith’s corrupt history, the Palm Beach Post re-endorsed Goldsmith, saying he’s “still the choice.” The paper, in one of the most pathetic excuses for journalism the Pulp has ever witnessed, cited a flyer that…

Pembroke Pines Mayor Has Most Boring Stimulus Wish List Ever

With its 150,000 population, Pembroke Pines stands to get a nice, fat slice of the $10-12 billion coming to Florida from the economic stimulus package Obama will sign into law today. How will Mayor Frank Ortis spend his Obama bills? Not on hookers nor cocaine. Not on a U2 performance…

Pain Coming To Herald Sentinel; Say No To Pudge

— A couple weeks ago I shared a memo from Miami Herald publisher David Landsberg in which he announced that another round of layoffs was soon coming to the newspaper. He wasn’t specific, but said the paper would try to limit the pain. Well, news from a Herald sister paper…

Bromance Blooms at NBA All-Star Game

If the love story between Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant were an ’80s romance movie, Dwyane Wade would be the suave, successful rebound guy who dates one of the leads briefly in the second act–right before the big reunion moment.Last night’s NBA All-Star game gave us that moment. Playing on the same team for the first…

Seiler Wants to Revive Light Rail Plan

It looks like Fort Lauderdale Mayor Elect Jack Seiler is enjoying his honeymoon. Five days after routing three other candidates in the municipal elections, he paid a Sunday morning visit to This Week in South Florida on WPLG Local 10. An unpugnacious and downright avuncular Michael Putney asked Seiler about…

Fantasy Baseball: What If the Legends Played the Asterisks?

If baseball players like South Florida homeboy ARod can use banned substances to gain supernatural powers, it seems only fair that I should be able to call upon supernatural powers to reincarnate a group of the 20th Century’s best: players who managed to post their sensational statistics in an era…

New Times Best Of Readers’ Poll 2009

For the dozen years we’ve been picking the best of Broward and Palm Beach and slapping it into one issue, we’ve asked our readers to vote blindly for your favorite local stuff. Yes, we tallied it fairly, throwing out repeat ballots by the same people and even issuing the occasional…

V-Day Sex Tips from a Sexual Surrogate

  Attention boys and girls! It’s that time of the year again. A time for everyone to bask in the mass consumerism of a holiday that seems like it was created just to make a few people feel like shit while everyone else gets laid and eats chocolate (or oysters). If…