Oh, what a thrill it is to see an envelope with the FPL logo sticking out of one’s holiday stocking! Because it’s no fun being robbed in one fell swoop, Bernie Madoff-style. I prefer a nice, slow bleed — or at least some Chinese water torture. Well, let’s start with…
Brrr! Even South Florida gets cold in the winter. And in a holiday season when so many of us are out of work and have time to kill, the stars have aligned for one very peculiar product — or are there two?Surely you’ve seen the infomercial for “The Snuggie –…
Broker Accused of Stealing, Finding True Meaning of ChristmasToday’s news is being brought to you by my coworker Stacy, the head of the accounting department and the proud owner of this super scary Grinch costume. Stacy decided to wear this costume today, which is also reserved for The Juice’s “Bring…
Tribune Co. Chief Innovation Officer Lee Abrams writes in his latest “Think Piece” that the financial problems facing the company are “way above my pay grade” and, borrowing a popular corporate slogan, he is focused on maximizing “our successful brands that reach out and touch a lot of people.” Specifically, Abrams singles out the…
Take a look at the photo of this hideous puppy above, and it’s easy to see why Joe Biden went to a dog breeder to get his new puppy. Is this the best you’ve got, German shepherd rescue groups? Pictured is Caribou, a German shepherd puppy available right now from…
Those socialites are a competitive bunch — and what is a wedding good for if not to rub one’s success in the nose of one’s rivals. Am I right, ladies?Or that’s my theory, anyway, on the gamesmanship between former New York City socialite Carole Rome and current NYC socialite Jill…
The New York Times’ Bill Marsh found the statistics. When it comes to corruption, Florida crushes Illinois in terms of raw number of convicted officials. We’re No. 1, with New York a rather distant second. Chicago’s state falls all the way down the list to the seventh spot. Yeah. That’s…
Howdy Ho! If the Christmas poo gets too close to the Heat this team’s gonna blow.The Miami Heat need forward Michael Beasley to light up the scoreboard if they’re to have any chance of making the NBA Playoffs, which is what makes this report on Beasley’s recent bout with the…
Deerfield Beach is still reeling after last week’s arrests of Mayor Al Capellini and Commissioner Steve Gonot. Residents keep calling the Juice newsroom with the same questions, and we’ll answer them here.1) No, tomorrow’s meeting of the Deerfield Beach City Commission will not take place at Broward County Jail, even…
Part of the trouble with stating one’s political case via graffiti is that there’s only so much wall with which to write. Then one has to use big letters so that the message can be seen at a great distance. Well, you can imagine how it’s tempting to resort to…
I realize it’s tough to scrounge up money in this economy, Palm Beach County, but must you really take it out of the g-strings of our courageous strippers? Those hard-bodied girls and guys need that money to pay for college! To put food on the table for the cute little…
New Times Has Cubicle Ready for Shoe ThrowerThis morning, Muntader al-Zaidi, the journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush yesterday, has probably found himself without a job. So that’s why my employer, New Times Broward-Palm Beach, would like to offer al-Zaidi a job. That’s right, al-Zaidi, you can start…
— The Sun-Sentinel, which never misses an excuse to link seemingly random pictures of half-naked women on its home page, hit a new low on that score over the weekend. The newspaper put up the headline: Aniston Naked. Under it was, yes, Jennifer Aniston from the latest GQ cover (it’s now on the…
The Juice has invited New Times theater critic, Brandon K. Thorp, to provide a running critique of one of the region’s most popular, most enduring stage shows: Sunday service at Calvary Chapel in Fort Lauderdale. With nearly 20,000 members it is the state’s biggest church. In his first installment of…
Seriously, the Sun-Sentinel’s news-you-can-use crew, so quick to report on stop signs and chuckholes and banana peels on the sidewalk, had better hustle down to Hollywood Boulevard. A Juice correspondent tells me that the Tri-Rail crossing has malfunctioned and traffic’s backed up somethin’ fierce. If you’re working late and contemplating…
Don’t you feel just a little sorry for the gawkers of St. Petersburg / Tampa? They’ve been waiting to get their place on the celebrity map forever! But no, Anna Nicole had to croak in the that other Seminole Hard Rock hotel. Today’s Charlie Crist-Carole Rome wedding was supposed to…
A government source just informed the Pulp that Deerfield Mayor Al Capellini has been charged right now with crimes of corruption by the State Attorney’s Office. His mug shot, taken hours ago, is pictured at right. UPDATED: The charge is unlawful compensation, a third-degree felony stemming from his involvement in the development at Natura…
I don’t mean to turn this blog into an issue of Cigarette Aficionado, but an area smoker who agrees with my Obama idea just told me about a Sunrise-based company selling an electronic cigarette that you can smoke anywhere. Airplanes! Restaurants! Day care centers! Gas stations! Elevators! In bed, post-coital,…
Will Crist Be Unable to Quit Mark Foley?Gov. Charlie Crist is expected to wed Carole Rome today in St. Petersburg, officially making the state of Florida a remake of Brokeback Mountain. Heath Ledger’s death solidified the ever-tanned and fastidious Crist into the role of Enis, the troubled homosexual cowboy whose…
From panty raids to war profiteering. Frat brothers grow up so fast, eh Charlie?What’s a wedding without at least one war profiteer? That’s the baggage that Harry Sargeant’s been lugging around the last several months, ever since a congressional oversight committee took a close look at the deal Sargeant’s Boca…
Ah, a career highlight — I got the first Ron Book post-loogey-in-the-eye interview. I believe that means I have finally arrived as a journalist in this town. We’ve all heard by now that the lobbyist was accosted by a mad vagrant Tuesday night after pushing the commission to vote in favor of…
Let’s hear for the home team! Office Depot, which is based in Delray Beach, today landed a big-ass contract to provide office supplies to Goodrich Corp., the international aerospace firm. Yay!And maybe that will cushion you for the even-more-recent news that Office Depot will be closing 112 stores nationwide.Seems like…
