Kevin Underwood’s Life In Hell

The blending of shoe marketing and sports reporting was on display Sunday. Dominating the front page of both the Sun-Sentinel and the Palm Beach Post were feature stories about the same thing: The Heat’s Dwyane Wade’s penchant for falling down on the court. It might seem like a weird coincidence…

Kevin Underwood. Voracious reader. Loved

Kevin Underwood. Voracious reader. Loved fucking Anne Rice. Claims he can 450 words per minute with an 80 percent comprehension rate, which is ridiculously high. Also claims he scored a 35 out of 36 on the reading portion of the ACT (with a 29 overall score). Had a weird thing…

Blog Hijacking

Valdes-Rodriguez Poor Bob has lost it. Internet access. His phone service. He’s completely at my mercy. So I’m taking over to provide his Friday afternoon blog entry. I know he was going to tell you that Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez is really a misunderstood genius who journalists never can give a fair…

Carlton Moore’s Little Secret

. Call Them Boca Rats A few stories this morning demand to be given space here. The first comes from the Broward Times. Yes, Elgin Jones has struck again, this time with a major scoop about Fort Lauderdale City Commissioner Carlton Moore’s involvement in a behind-the-scenes land land grab in…

A New Low For Hollywood

Koslow (center) and Mara (Right) This photograph, which I acquired a while back, speaks volumes about Hollywood. In the center there is Hollywood lobbyist Alan Koslow. He represents just about every developer in Hollywood while his law firm, Becker and Poliakoff, also has a contract to lobby for the city…

Who The Hell Is Marling?

For all of Tom Fiedler’s bluster in yesterday’s e-mail to staffers about the Miami Herald web site being just as important as the newspaper, nobody seems to be keeping a close eye on the home page. Since early this morning, this headline has appeared on the home page of web…

Eggelletion’s Cronies Feel Political Bite

Eggelletion The Sun-Sentinel often doesn’t do news — it’s more what might be called newslets. They are little bite-sized articles that state a bit of news, hint at the problem, then head for the hills with none of us the wiser. There’s a good example of one in this morning’s…

Song of South Florida

“Ass Cobra.” There’s a certain poetry to the phrase. “Ass Cobra.” A two-car caravan is halfway through the 1,300 mile trip from Hialeah, Florida, “City of Progress,” to Austin, Texas, “Live Music Capital of the World.” The vehicles contain the members of Humbert, a pop-rock band named with a louche…

Who Do I Have to Whack to Raise My Google Profile?

Political animal Doug Guetzloe measures his success on the Internet. In Google search hits, to be precise. “You Google me and I’m up to the 700 or 800 category,” says the Orlando conservative radio show host and Bill O’Reilly acolyte. “If I’m not up to 700, I’m not doing my…

These Deals Will Blow You Away

When Sandra and Mike Groody wanted to buy a car a few months ago, they found Maroone of Delray Beach and thought: Our vehicular problems are over. This was no fly-by-night outfit but part of the largest auto dealership in the state, with all of the integrity and reliability that…

Big Breasts and Cold Champagne in the Penthouse

When I received my invitation to join Penthouse’s CEO and, more importantly, March and April’s Pets at Bova Ristorante, my prurient nature won out over my Boca-phobia, a disorder marked (in part) by an irrational fear of compulsory valet parking. After shoving reams of notes and articles under the seats…

Letters for April 13-19, 2006

Betrayed by the World Can’t an online masher catch a break? Sam Eifling was right in one respect about me — I will never find peace of mind in a world of betrayal (“Jailbait,” April 6). Police betrayed their commitment to their own guidelines and their oath to uphold and…

Devil In A House Dress

Sometimes, the Pulp likes to do its civic and professional duties. FIU prof Neil Reisner asked that I share this with you. It actually looks interesting, like something upstanding and professional journalists ought to consider attending. I don’t know about the boot camp schtick though. They’ve been getting a bad…

See Prehistoric Giant Sloth Here!

The Palm Beach Post and Sun-Sentinel both ran with the giant sloth story on their front pages this morning. The stories, by Tim O’Melia and Peter Franceschina, respectively, both did the job telling of the find of ancient bones in the muck of the Everglades in Hendry County. It was…

When The Press Notifies The Kin

Boca Crime Scene/Sun-Sentinel Photo While reporting on the killing of a married couple at a Boca Raton clothing store, Sentinel reporter Leon Fooksman contacted family members in Alabama. For crime reporters, contacting people after they’ve heard devastating news about their loved ones is business as usual. But what happened to…

Will Feds Investigate Michael Satz, Too?

Let’s see. Leon Fooksman and Chrystian Tejedor start us on a murder mystery in Boca Raton. Lisa Huriash stirs up a nest of envy in Sentinel readers, what economist Thorsten Veblen called pecuniary emulation. We know some people demand 40-foot swimming pools, theaters, billiard rooms, full-court basketball courts and such…

Dave Hyde Strikes Again

— The Sun-Sentinel’s Community News section was at it again Sunday with a headline that belongs in the Hall of Fame of D’Uh: “Dry Weather Increases Risk of Brush Fires.” This follows last week’s headline about keeping children safe around pools: “Water-Safety Experts Say There’s No Subsitute for Supervision.” Both…

Buddy, the Blog, and the Boot

In his column on Saturday, Buddy Nevins simply informed readers in the final paragraphs that it was his last. “It’s been a great run, but the time has come to meet new challenges.” Maucker The explanation didn’t come until the next day — from his Sun-Sentinel Editor Earl Maucker. In…

The Mayor and the Lifeguard

For your reading pleasure, I offer a memo written by the human resources director of Deerfield Beach regarding Mayor Al Capellini’s misguided attempts at romance (with a city lifeguard 22 years younger than he). A citizen muckraker e-mailed it to me (some of you reporters might be able to guess…

Who The Hell Is Dennis Richardson?

According to the Sentinel web site, he’s a senior special sections writer for the newspaper. Or so it seems. On the right rail of the site, there’s the header “SPECIAL SECTIONS.” It shouldn’t be confused with the nearby “NEWSPAPER ADS.” Anyway, one of the items listed is the Fort-Lauderdale Airport…

Sentinel Re-Writes Own History

“Three years, 19 days, and counting.” That is the lede on the Sentinel’s lengthy editorial today titled simply “Iraq.” Then it goes into the cost: the 2300 Americans, the 16000 American wounded, the tens of thousands dead Iraqis, the $400 billion in this nation’s hard-earned money. Then the Sentinel tears…

God Takes Over WPLG

Yes, God takes over WPLG-Channel 10 after the Jimmy Kimmel show goes off the air. Well, not God per se, but a facsimile by the name of Bill Keller, a convicted felon. Keller — a middle-aged fellow with burnt orange hair, a burnt orange face, burnt orange glasses, and sometimes…