Again, this week, we delve, topically, beneath the male’s thick, elastic waistband, where the little head resides, for a one-on-one chat. The question to the one-eyed sage: blue balls, fact or fiction? Doug, a 40-year-old who was partying among a crowd of 30 at Automatic Slims recently mapped out the…
Jai Alai Down Low Make the fronton a horserace: Regarding Sam Eifling’s January 20 article, “The Swift and the Dying,” over these past ten years, I’ve seen the decline of jai alai. I’ve seen old ladies supplementing Social Security by working food and souvenir concessions and then ultimately get laid…
Tom Rains couldn’t have been prepared for the beating he would take. He was hanging out with his fiance, Mileah Dagon, and a friend outside their apartment building at 2414 Johnson St. in Hollywood about 9:30 p.m. on August 25, 2002. A 37-year-old from Albany, New York, who dropped out…
The musty sound booth affords Todd Sorensen a rare vantage on a fleeting sight. Twenty feet below the announcer, four men clad in Crayola-colored vests and helmets brandish cestas, the yard-long claw-baskets that jai-alai players strap to their right arms to catch and throw a ball against a 45-foot-high wall…
All Raphael Clemente wants is to not risk his life every time he hits the streets. He’s been screamed at and spit upon. He’s been pelted with coins, McDonald’s milkshakes, and full bottles of water. He’s been punched, knocked into the dirt, and run off the road. He’s been hassled…
All the artsy-fartsies in Palm Beach County like to portray their home as the place where “culture has found its place in the sun.” But public support for the prestigious Palm Beach Institute of Contemporary Art in Lake Worth has been so feeble in recent years that, barring a financial…
Finally, the governor is standing up for the famous subspecies of human often called by its scientific name, electis moronis. I am, of course, talking about you, the common voter. The voter is no stranger to scorn and humiliation; he is a creature that has adapted to ridiculous amounts of…
A Geller Attack The good senator strikes back: I am aware of the famous admonition “never get into a spitting match with anyone who buys ink by the barrel,” but I was sufficiently outraged by Bob Norman’s article (“Geller’s Giveaway”) about me in the January 13 edition that I felt…
Ming Ng’s first contest was a snap. On the first day of the Women’s Professional Billiard Association Classic Tour at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino last month, Ng coolly dispatched a middle-aged woman newly returned to pool after many years of absence to raise her kids. The woman…
The IndiBoard is the local Internet meeting place for men who spend $600 or $700 a week frequenting escort services. Half the pleasure of sex-for-pay seems to be in the post-coital assessments. At www.independentgirls.com/indiboard, you can learn which escort is tight, who’s sweet, and who’s just a mechanical $300 an…
Here’s a tip for the wannabe land barons out there: The City of Hollywood is selling prime downtown land for peanuts. Just last month it gave away a $2.1 million tract of land on booming Young Circle for just $58,000. Get in on it while it lasts. Sure the taxpayers…
VooDoo Lounge, 111 SW Second Ave., Fort Lauderdale
E Bar, 215 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale
Cathode Ray, 1307 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale
Artist as Art Deirdra nailed the wicked cynic: I was hucklebucking home from the studio, being as nicely mannered to passing ladies as my southern roots would allow and planning my next humiliation of other aspiring artists in town, when I saw the latest issue of New Times in the…
Oblivious to the scrutiny of a dozen or so onlookers, at 7:07 p.m., Joe Amato plucks the 400th needle of the day from the stainless-steel tray. He swivels on his stool back to his subject, Tim McDanel, who is lying shirtless on his stomach in a fully reclined dentist’s chair…
News broke recently that Florida Atlantic University will spend $50,000 to update its athletic and university logos. Why? For the same reason that parents wear Yu-Gi-Oh T-shirts and Boca socialites inject paralytic toxins into their faces. Shucks, if the school needs an image update, New Times can suggest a few…
As he had for about 25 years, Herb Zebuth strolled into work at the district headquarters of the Florida Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) in West Palm Beach on February 5, 2004. A staff environmental consultant, Zebuth had spent many years studying the water drainage basin for the Loxahatchee River…
“What’s the difference between a sadist and a masochist?” 33-year-old Todd asked one Thursday night at Sofa Kings Sports Bar in Davie — where knee-length jean shorts and solid-colored T-shirts are all the rage. “A masochist says, ‘Beat me, Beat me,’ and a sadist says, ‘No,'” he answered his own…
Seabees Are Battle-ready Barton’s probably not: First allow me to congratulate Eric Alan Barton on a well-written and touching portrait of the realities of war (“The Deadliest Day,” December 30). However, I feel that he has failed to do his homework, and as a result, has done a great discredit…
His feet sloshing in blood, Petty Officer Nathan Allen moved frantically through the scene trying to decide which of his friends to save. They were calling to him, screaming from every direction about missing legs and torn-up arms. Seconds earlier, an Iraqi insurgent had lobbed a mortar over the wall…
There was Iraq, of course. The mess hall bombing in Mosul, the battle of Fallujah, the Rumsfeld unthinking rejoinder about driving through hostile terrain without armored vehicles. And the presidential election. Who could ever forget that? But news is also what happens in the swirls and eddies at the edges…
Homeless Hurrah With a humanist cheer: I enjoyed Jeff Stratton’s excellent December 23 piece on the homeless, “A Sort of Sanctuary.” Without being thick, it honestly shared the stories and confirmed that there exists a “cycle of poverty” — that trap where people can find themselves in a heartbeat. I…
Plenty of stout fellows and fair maidens have passed through Sherwood Forest, bedding down for a night or two in the pines. A few dozen call it home. Smack in the center of overpopulated, ultradeveloped Broward County, the one-acre tract of trees and bushes is a perfect place to hide…
