Drunk Side of the Moon

At 10:25 p.m. on a recent Wednesday, Matt, a tall bartender with a dark, short-cropped beard, walks perfunctorily toward the dock in front of the Downtowner Saloon (408 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale), unhooking his belt and opening his fly. A crowd of ten locals — Night Court included –…

Letters for 02.19.2004

Prosecute ’em: In reference to Bob Norman’s columns on NBHD: great reporting. As a Miami-Dade County teacher, I am so tired of all the corruption in the very places we should most be able to count on. For shame. The Broward Hospital Board should be treated just like teachers’ union…

Die, Ted-E, Die

A white, two-inch-tall teddy bear lies next to an M4 assault rifle. Behind them on a blue wall are T-shirts of Uncle Sam and the Statue of Liberty. One reads: “Fuck You Binn [sic] Laden.” “And welcome to yet another Ted-E Adventure,” a voice narrates. “This week’s adventure is more…

Hospital Index

You might think the North Broward Hospital District would be at least moderately thrifty, especially since it keeps raising our property taxes to help fund its monstrous $800 million budget. But then, you’d be wrong. A look at an unauthorized Internet database of NBHD’s expenses provides strong evidence that the…

Letters for February 12, 2004

Dubya is still a deceitful chump: Regarding your January 5 cover story by Sam Eifling, “Liar, Liar…,” a quick note to inform you that I find your antipatriotic, antimoralistic, and antisocietal message immature and obscene. I laugh at your attempt at “journalism” and suggest growing up. I will shun all…

Stationhouse Capo

Late last summer, Lt. Jeffrey Marano got wind of fliers making their way around the Hollywood Police Department announcing the “BPO First Annual Picnic” to be held in August at Ty Park. In police parlance, BPO stands for black police officer. Marano was alarmed. After getting a look at one…

Grinders

Jimmy King leans forward over the poker table with his arms crossed in front of him and glares at the few dollars in the pot, counting what he’ll win. Tight poker players like King, who go to the casinos every day just to scratch out enough for a modest living,…

Prez Bashing

The most curious thing you notice when cruising Fort Lauderdale with a 12-foot jury-rigged statue of George W. Bush on a trailer is that people delight in giving you the finger. Sometimes, they shout at the hulking, smoking giant, resplendent in a spray-silver flight suit topped by a sort of…

Deliver Us II

Standing outside the glass wall of the nursery on the third floor of the Broward General Medical Center this past Sunday, Dr. Reynald Pouliot gazed at the two babies who slept peacefully in two of the many cribs. “This is going to be like a ghost town without SunLife,” says…

Letters for February 5, 2004

Take this, you pagan strumpet: Rebecca Meiser’s January 29 article (“Jews for Bejesus”) describes the problems of the extended Rapp family. Edie Rapp is quoted in regard to herself and her dying husband: “If there’s one thing the two of us were definite about, it was our Jewishness.” The story…

A Monster Tea Party

The two-tiered ferry boat, the Carrie B., is docked on the north side of the New River, across from the Sea Monster Night Club (2 S. New River Dr., Fort Lauderdale). At 6 p.m. sharp on a lazy Sunday evening, the engine gurgles to life, and the paddleboat’s big, red…

Gingerbread Man

Dressed in a faded pair of jeans cut off just below the knee and a clean, white wife beater with a tiny two-piece swimsuit underneath, grooving to a Mudhoney CD spinning in her boom box, Ginger looks more like a student rocker than a part-time hooker. “You could make good…

One-Way Street

Martha Roldan, a 45-year-old employee of the state Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles, doesn’t have a law degree. She never took the bar exam. In fact, she could be arrested if she ever purported to be an attorney. But in an office nestled on the south side of…

Jews for Bejesus

There was no denying it any more: Marty Rapp was dying. Parkinson’s disease had taken control of Rapp’s muscles, causing the once-nimble ballroom dancer to lie dormant in his sterile hospital bed. His vision was poor, he had zero control over his body, his hands shook and quivered, but the…

Deliver Us

You may have never heard of Dr. Steven M. Scott, but chances are he’s taken some of your money. A huge financier of the Republican Party, Scott owns an HMO that covers some 385,000 people in Broward and Miami-Dade counties and, until last month, provided physicians to more than 200…

Letters for January 29, 2004

And never, ever vote for W.: Maybe Ruth Pleva and insinuator Eric Alan Barton should be reminded that Will Rogers must have voted for Franklin D. Roosevelt four times (“Committee to Defeat Itself,” January 22). He was president that many times. Pretty well-organized, I would say! Direction and purpose has…

No Playa Hater

The steamy, packed dance floor at Capones (300 New River Ct., Fort Lauderdale) is thumping to the 69 Boyz’ “Tootsee Roll” at midnight on a Saturday. Sure, the song’s almost a decade old — not exactly a cutting-edge spin — but still danceable. Belly-baring blonds on the bar top undulate…

Missing Leg

Duane Brown has been dreaming for a week now, so it’s certainly possible that this vision he’s seeing is the start of a new one. There’s a doctor standing over him. He can see the man’s outline and white coat, though what he sees must be clouded by a concussion…

Committee to Defeat Itself

Before all the fighting and bickering, before the arguments that seem to bring George W. Bush that much closer to reelection, 65-year-old Ruth Pleva sits comfortably between the oversized cushions on her living room couch. She fiddles with a brie-and-cracker spread on the table in front of her and spears…

Crazy to Kill

The buzz about the new movie Monster is all about actress Charlize Theron, who plays Florida serial killer Aileen Wuornos. It’s a remarkable performance by the statuesque South African beauty. Tall, leggy, and — in Tailpipe’s opinion — one of the tastiest dishes in the movies, Theron has somehow turned…

Letters for January 22, 2004

Columnist: guilty. Free weekly: innocent: Although we live in the Midwest, we do get to Fort Lauderdale occasionally. We recently read Courtney Hambright’s column, Night Court (January 8), about her experience at the Boardwalk bar. In the first place, why on earth would she go to a gay strip bar?…

Too Dumb to Die

In the early-morning hours of Friday, July 25, 2002, Kevin Moore walked down SE Second Avenue in Deerfield Beach. The skinny, five-foot-nine-inch 23-year-old stopped in front of 1101 SE Second Ave., a yellow two-bedroom house that belonged to 92-year-old Yvonne Moss. Aiming to collect $30 for painting two iron bars…