“Are Ding-Dongs a good choice for an after-school snack?” Miss Molly Manners barks at eight teenage girls gathered after school in a Fort Lauderdale High School home economics classroom. “No, they’re not,” she answers when the kids, who are seated at tables in groups of four, do not respond. Dangling…
So Saddam relented. Inspectors have arrived. Big deal. We at New Times aren’t retreating. We are boldly proceeding with our make-fun-of-the-bloodbath comics contest. In fact, we’re naming a winner: Ray Russotto of Deerfield Beach. A freelancer whose work has appeared in national magazines as well as the Sun-Sentinel and the…
“Huh-lo?” mumbles Alvin Midas when he answers the phone on a recent sunny afternoon at the statewide headquarters of the group that aims to legalize pot. Midas isn’t the leader of Florida Cannabis Action Network (FLCAN). In fact, he’s just the web administrator at the office in Melbourne. But he…
Swings wildly at alternative rag’s scribe: Thank you for Bob Norman’s eloquent article (“The Antiwarriors,” November 14) about our bus trip to Washington, D.C., on October 26. The title and subtitle of your story set the tone early for your obvious attempt at discrediting the participants of the growing and…
The New York Times buried its little story on the biggest peace rally in the United States since the Vietnam War on page A8, under the headline “Thousands March in Washington Against Going to War in Iraq.” Not tens of thousands. Not 100,000. Not 200,000. Just “thousands.” In the same…
At Calvary Chapel in Fort Lauderdale on November 5, nobody talked about Jeb or Bill, preschool or the death penalty, smoking or pregnant pigs. In fact, it was damn near impossible to hear conversation about anyone or anything other than George Anthony Silvore Jr., a voter as mysterious as Sasquatch…
Pompano Beach Mayor Bill Griffin didn’t face an election on November 5, but his political fate was on the line just the same. The ballot in his city included a mayor-at-large referendum designed to force Griffin outside of his cozy district for a citywide reelection bid this coming March. Since…
Puh-leeeez: I feel compelled to write regarding my disappointment with Felicia Levine’s November 7 article about Leather University. I awaited the release of this article with great expectations (and a sense of dread), hoping that our event would be presented in a neutral light. The headlines dashed that hope fairly…
“Often there’s misunderstanding, out of all the good I try to do. Go to friends for consolation, I find them complaining, too. So many nights, I toss in pain, wondering what the day will bring. But I say to my heart, don’t worry, the Lord will make a way somehow.”…
“Welcome to Pervertibles,” says teacher and sadomasochist Drake Ferguson, who on this scorching October morning in Fort Lauderdale wears tiny, fatigue-style shorts and a black tank top that display his prodigious belly. “After this class, you’ll never look at Home Depot or the Dollar Store the same way again.” He…
Willie Mae totters out the front door of the Cooperative Feeding Program in Lauderdale Lakes with an overstuffed grocery bag in hand. The 33-year-old, who is short and has a round, smiling face, stashes the goods in her car trunk, then moves beneath a shade tree in front of her…
And so does Jim: First, I would like to thank New Times for Rebecca Gleaves’ October 24 story, “Ollie Rides Again.” As an old skater out of retirement 1.5 years, it was nice to see someone actually get the complete story about Alan Gelfand and “The Ollie”! I like the…
Even by its own muckraking standards, the October 11 issue of the black-oriented Broward Times was unsettling, particularly to Democrats. “Are We Just Stupid?” screamed a headline across the front page over a story about the Tampa lawyer who hopes to dethrone Gov. Jeb Bush on Tuesday: Bill McBride. The…
In an area world-famous for botched balloting, New Times endorses Republican Elliot S. Shaw in Palm Beach County’s Florida House District 89. A destitute lawyer whose sanity the Florida Supreme Court once questioned, he’s the perfect candidate for SoFla’s easily misled voters. We like his chances. Even the state’s fantastically…
One of the most intriguing mysteries of the whole Election 2000 debacle is this: How many Florida voters improperly lost their voting rights because of a statewide effort to scrub felons from voter rolls? This question was at the heart of a post-election lawsuit filed against the Department of State…
On Tuesday, when Robert Wexler beats his underfunded Republican challenger, Jack Merkl, the Boca Raton congressman will get two more years of far-flung travel. As I’ve reported recently, he’s been jetting around the Middle East and Central Asia drumming up sup1port for an invasion of Iraq and the nebulous “war…
Hawk-y Slavin squawks again: This is my third attempt to castigate the Jew-hating and Israel-bashing liar Bob Norman. That’s right, you’re a liar! Norman wrote that Israel occupies other people’s land, specifically, “Israel occupies the Palestinian territories.” (“Wexler’s Travels,” October 24). That is a lie — one of many Norman…
Back in 1976, Alan “Ollie” Gelfand — a nervous, fast-talking kid with bulging eyes, long brown hair, and heat-inviting corduroy pants — was flying with buddies Kevin Peterson and Jeff Duer in a chartered plane, their eyes hungrily scanning the landscape below. The 14-year-old friends had pooled their allowances and…
Southwest Ranches is the last municipal outpost in western Broward County before the landscape gives way to the Everglades. It’s a sparsely settled gateway between the wetlands and the cramped suburbs; most of the 7500 people who live here relate more to the River of Grass than to the towers…
Robert Wexler loves to talk Turkey. The congressman from Boca Raton gobbles on and on about that troubled country, calling it a role model for all Muslim nations to follow and praising its help in the so-called war on terrorism. “Turkey is secular and democratic, and they are a steadfast…
Awakens the masses: Thank you for writing about the Lord/Jesus in the October 17 Bandwidth. I avoid local scene websites because typos make me cringe, so I never would have heard about him without Jeff Stratton’s column. It’s always good to know about people trying to wake up the scene…
A sneer builds in the corner of Howard Schnellenberger’s right eye, then slowly becomes a piercing gaze directed at the empty football field in front of him. His schedule calls for his men to practice at Eastern Kentucky University by 5 p.m. sharp, but the drizzling rain apparently didn’t get…
