Yo Cuz! Steve Martorano on Jimmy Kimmel Live

I have a new food-related crush. It could be because he reminds me of my first boyfriend, Eddy Marsala (that’s his real name, I swear), who worked in the pizzeria close to the 7 Train in Queens. It could be because he talks like everyone who lived in my neighborhood in Brooklyn. Or it could simply be because he’s a man who can make a cheese steak like they do in Philadelphia.

In any event, when Steve Martorano, owner of Cafe Martorano, was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, I was enraptured. Martorano has that Jersey swagger — the kind of man who probably beats the crap out of the guy who stands up his little sister and then cries at Disney films — then helps Mom make Sunday gravy in the kitchen.

Calling Kimmel “Cuz,” Martorano demonstrated his Philly pizza steak,

making it with “buddah” and “two cloves, four cloves — what difference

does it make?” of garlic.

As he eats raw beef to test the

freshness — “Hey! It’s like carpaccio” — he tells us about the time Kimmel

invited him to dinner as a guest — “dis guy — he made me cook!”

As

Martorano tried to demonstrate the “Philly bend,” a move to help keep

your clothes from getting stained with meat juices, Kimmel tried to bite

into his pizza steak. Martorano just sighed and said “Fuhgeddaboudit!

Let’s eat.”

Hey — dis is part one:

Yo — dis here’s part two: