Holy Cleavage

“Speaking in Parables Will Get You Nowhere in this Crowd” is an exhibit about today’s post-industrial landscape — or should I say wasteland? — opening at the Hollywood Art and Culture Center (1650 Harrison St., Hollywood). It’s the joint project of two artists, Michael Balbone and Emily Martinez, who share…

D-Fence! D-Cups!

Through the annals of American football, with the rise and fall of offensive trends, the movement of teams among cities, and the escalation of television’s power, one trend has held fairly steady: Equipment has been improved to protect players’ bodies and brains. The Lingerie Football League has bucked that tradition…

Hometown Swampenanny Sure to Be a Hoot

You in a hootin’ mood tonight? For sounds rarely found east of the Skunk Ape’s front porch? If so, grab your dancin’ galoshes and head to Respectable Street, where first up: Black Weather Shaman will channel the spirit — and spittoon — world by providing some psychedelic swamp-billy folkie gems…

She’s Glitterific!

You simply cannot hate on the wonder that is Mariah Carey. Seriously — the woman’s a megastar: five octave voice, awards galore, great body. The world first became majorly enamored with her when she turned one of her troubled relationships into an empowering hit song, “Butterfly” (“Spread your wings and…

Gallery 721: Pop culture and Purvis Young

The first time I stepped into Gallery 721 in Fort Lauderdale — the second and third times too — my immediate reaction was, This is the coolest place in the world. That may be exaggerating a bit, but not by much. Imagine 6,500 square feet of space, almost every millimeter…

The Book of Eli‘s Post-Apocalyptic Theology Is a Little Warped

Directors Allen and Albert Hughes were raised by an Armenian mother and African-American father. With such a background, it would be difficult not to have feelings about the church. The Hugheses’ fourth film, The Book of Eli, centers on the Christianity that was at the margins of their previous films — hypocritically misused by Bokeem Woodbine’s bush-crazy Marine turned pulpit-pounder turned stickup man in Dead…

The Messenger; a Moving and Nuanced Drama

I’m Not There screenwriter Oren Moverman makes his directorial debut with The Messenger, a moving and nuanced drama about the home-front readjustment period for decorated Iraq War hero Will Montgomery (Ben Foster) who, after surviving a roadside blast, has been reassigned as a Casualty Notification Officer. He is partnered with…

Peter Jackson’s The Lovely Bones Is Horrific but Cloying

Cults collide as Peter “Lord of the Rings” Jackson tackles Alice Sebold’s bestselling New Age gothic, the story of a rape-murder-dismemberment and its aftermath, narrated by its 14-year-old victim from heaven. The movie, starring Saoirse Ronan as the teenaged Susie, is horrific yet cloying, sometimes poignant and often ridiculous. Published…

The Spy Next Door Is Immediately Forgettable Family Entertainment

Like director Brian Levant’s last two outings — 2002’s Snow Dogs, 2005’s Are We There Yet? — The Spy Next Door is immediately forgettable family entertainment, suitable for release only in the dung-heap month of January. Jackie Chan, game as ever, stars as Bob Ho, an undercover CIA agent from…

The Heartbreak Kid

For more than a decade, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone has been cranking out a unique style of lo-fi synthpop that sprouted forth from a childhood fueled by the Smiths, New Order, and the Cure. CFTPA evokes a sound that was cutting-edge 25 years ago in a land of four-tracks…

Puzzle Me This

Mind-bending puzzles and painstakingly trippy constructions have secured M.C. Escher as a household name. Posters of Relativity — the print that animated baby genius Stewie Griffin once referred to as Crazy Stairs — are as ubiquitous among the college set as Jim Belushi’s College. So it’s no surprise that parodies…

Don’t Forget About Paul Anka

In spring 2008, Paul Anka, the legendary crooner/writer of standards like “My Way” and “She’s a Lady,” grabbed our attention. It turned out that “This Is It,” the song featured during the end credits of the Michael Jackson movie of the same name, was cowritten by Anka, but he never…

Request: Equestrians

Humans and horses have been living together since 4,000 B.C.E. The relationship has produced many high points — the Budweiser Clydesdales, Mr. Ed, Peter Schaffer’s Equus — and some low ones too — Catherine the Great, Canadian Mounties, Seabiscuit. But like peanut butter and jelly, humans and horses are stuck…

Controlling the Pace

When the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers played against each other three weeks ago, the game ended in what can only be effectively described as a thorough “ass-thumpin” as the Heat took down Indiana 114-80. Dwyane Wade played only 28 minutes, yet in that short span, he was able to…

The Pentameters Hit Palm Beach!

Reports of poetry’s death have been greatly exaggerated. The art form is certainly alive and kicking here, where the Palm Beach Poetry Festival is bringing together a clique of eminent poets — with enough medals and honors among them to decorate an army — for readings, lectures, and workshops in…

I Was Made to Love Her

The tricky thing about love is that everyone is searching for it, even though we can’t solidly quantify how much is available throughout the universe. For example, what if supply/demand laws are horribly askew and there’s only enough uncoupled amore for the very, very lucky? Or what if you’ve just…

Mermaid You Look

Some time back, a dedicated sports nerd (simultaneously the coolest and least-useful variety of nerd) determined that in a typical Major League Baseball game, the ball is actually in play for only two to three minutes. So even in the best of baseball times — and the past couple of…

Get Up, Stand Up

Miami’s oldest bar, Tobacco Road, will team up with Ploppy Palace Productions to advance the cause of one of humanity’s oldest medicinal herbs. Marijuana — that ever-controversial weed that’s done nothing bad but inspire interesting musical arrangements, food concoctions, and sleep — has been getting a lot of attention lately…

Well Played, Mr. Bond

There are plenty of reasons James Bond is cool: He drives fast, fights hard, and lives large. Men want to be him; women want to be with him. The coolest moments in Bond films, though, take place in Monte Carlo. Bond puts on a natty tux, strolls into the casino,…

A Classic-osaurus Exhibit!

Sometimes extinction is a good thing. Like with the case of the dinosaurs. Sure, Jurassic Park won us over — what if scientists could bring dinosaurs back to life?! — but then Jeff Goldblum’s life was put in danger, and we thought, no thank you. If Mr. T-rex were still…

When in Rome…

As the story goes, Rome was founded by twin boys who were raised by a she-wolf. One brother eventually killed the other in a fisticuffs over who would be king. The victor then raided a nearby town to rape and kidnap the women, as an ideal city has at least…

Rock the Cradle of Love

He’s Just Not That Into You started out as a single line of dialogue on Sex and the City but soon exploded into a franchise targeted toward single women. Driving the movement were Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, the husband-and-wife co-authors of books He’s Just Not That Into You and…