My Lunch With Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz

On Wednesday I met Florida Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz at Jaxson’s Ice Cream Parlor on U.S. 1 in Dania Beach for a wide-ranging discussion — including my paranoid delusions about the sinister deal-cutting that must take place when voters aren’t watching.The congresswoman insists that she has never thrown footwear at…

I Am The Future Of Journalism Because …

… I’m so desperate that I dream of working for some weird Internet start-up that wants to replace real journalism with blog posts. Yes, and that’s just one possible answer to the question being asked by an outfit called Publish2, the Web start-up in question. And if you are judged to have the best…

Madoff’s Web Site Is A Snuff Film

Hey everybody. I’ve been away (in Jupiter. No, the planet!) and now I’m trying to find out how my $50 billion investment is going. Except the web site of my broker Bernie Madoff seems to be down. Something about a court-ordered liquidation? That doesn’t sound good.Ha, ha, just kidding. I…

Escape the Financial Apocalypse – on Craig’s List

We thought the category “Housing Swap” on Craig’s List used to be for people looking to swap spaces over holiday breaks. Thanks to this awful housing market, however, swapping has become a permanent solution for folks who need to move but can’t sell. For instance, some dude in Minneapolis wants…

Night-Vision Goggle Lady on Trial

Today is the ninth day that Shahrzad Mir Gholikhan (pictured above), a 31-year-old Iranian woman, has stood in front of a federal jury in Fort Lauderdale wearing brown scrubs and white plastic government-issued flip-flops. In a move that has been described as bold, crazy, or both, the polite, petite detainee…

Restaurateur Martorano on Jimmy Kimmel: A Meatball Making Meatballs

In today’s bit of quasi-celebrity local news,  restaurateur Steve Martorano appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel show last night. During the segment, Martorano talked about how he got his start in the dining industry by selling sandwiches out of his Philadelphia apartment — without a restaurant license.  When the authorities busted…

Ferguson: Lesbian Scene Is Hot in Delray

We’re very well aware that Broward and Palm Beach counties do not draw high-voltage celebrities in the same way as L.A. or New York. (And if we forget, we always have Donald Trump to remind us.)  Yet we do sometimes marvel at the bizarre mix of notables that rumble through…

Dying to be Famous

When 19-year-old Abraham Biggs Jr. logged onto Bodybuilding.com November 19th, he typed: “ask a guy who is gonna OD(again) tonight anything.” He had threatened to take his life before on the web, under the screen name CandyJunkie.  The first online attempt took place several months prior. Doreen Biggs, Abraham’s mother and a…

Update

Crumbling CastlePolice arrested Deerfield Beach Mayor Al Capellini last Friday and charged him with receiving unlawful compensation. The charge stems from accusations that first surfaced in the 2006 Bob Norman column “Mayor Al Engineers Another Deal.” Capellini’s “stunning” arrest, as the Sun-Sentinel deemed it, stems from a land deal in…

The Dirty Dozen of 2008

Not surprisingly, Broward and Palm Beach counties had more than their share of backroom deals, slimy alliances, ego trips, and moral shilly-shallying this year. So many scoundrels, so many liars, so many wimps and turncoats. So many bums stalking our backyards in 2008, in fact, that New Times considered expanding…

Fort Lauderdale Philanthropist Tied To Epic Swindler Madoff — UPDATED

Michael Bienes doesn’t make a lot of news and hasn’t been involved much in local politics, but if you look around you’ll see the tall and seemingly kindly Fort Lauderdale multi-millionaire’s name all over the place. At Holy Cross Hospital, there’s the Michael and Dianne Bienes Comprehensive Cancer Center. At the Broward County Library in downtown…

May the Best Mummified Coach Win

Now that Joe Paterno’s landed a brand new three-year contract, just a few days before his 82nd birthday, the pressure’s on Florida State’s dad-gum head coach Bobby Bowden to get a four-year contract.The two old coots are currently running 1-2 in career victories. JoePa has 383. Bowden has 381. The…

Time To Save The Parimutuels (And The Everglades)

— So the parimutuels are getting together to try to get some parity with the Seminole Hard Rock. In short, they want to be able to offer table games like blackjack — or have those games taken from the Seminoles. Mardi Gras Gaming’s Dan Adkins tells the Sun-Sentinel’s Josh Hafenbrack…

According to No New Evidence, Deceased Pathological Liar Killed Adam Walsh

Well, it sure is nice to clear this case from the file room! Ottis Toole killed Adam Walsh, says Hollywood Police Chief Chad Wagner, citing approximately zero nuggets of new information.This is either some great detective work… or it’s a police chief eager to close an infamous, mangled, 27-year-old child abduction…

Ken Jenne, What About Those Legal Bills?

When trouble brewed, former Broward County Sheriff Ken Jenne was quick to spend our tax  dollars on lawyers to try to help him get out of trouble. Most infamously, he engineered the payment of $1.2 million to his good friend and political supporter Tom Panza to “investigate” the Powertrac scandal, wherein BSO falsely…