Barring an unforeseen incident — say, an asteroid colliding with the Earth, or Xenu attacking the planet with his intergalactic army, or Godzilla wanting to eat San Francisco — LeBron James is set to reach 20,000 career points tonight when the Heat visit the Golden State Warriors. Also, LeBron will…
It’s easy to think of Florida homeboy and 11-time world champion surfer Kelly Slater as an easygoing, all-natural bro who alternates between charging waves and lounging in the Hawaiian rainforest. But he’s also a multimillionaire and a corporate animal, having an admitted affinity for golf and driving untold sales at…
Remember when the Florida Marlins were all, if y’all don’t give us millions and millions, we’re just gonna go ahead and take our ballclub somewhere else, and the City of Miami was all, nooooo here ya go! and then threw millions and millions at the Marlins and now taxpayers are…
Nick Saban won his fourth National Championship last night (his third overall with Alabama) after his Crimson Tide laid the smackdown on Notre Dame 42-14. During a day-after presser on Tuesday, Saban told the media that his time coaching the Miami Dolphins was so difficult, that he was eventually forced…
In case you haven’t noticed, as kickass as the Miami Heat has been this season (23-9 so far), they’ve been refried ass when it comes to rebounding. The World Champs rank among the worst in the league in rebounding. To fix this, team President Pat Riley worked out former Denver…
Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross met with local media on Monday to discuss the state of the franchise. And it was filled with clichés, talking points, and the nonsensical ramblings of a hobgoblin. In other words, it was exactly what you’d expect from a team that has gone 7-9, 7-9,…
The BCS title game is happening tonight. And there is not one single, solitary fuck we give about it. Because, as it turns out, the Football Gods deemed it necessary that two of South Florida’s most reviled college teams should be playing for all the marbles in our own back…
If you’re too busy still hating LeBron James, then you really are missing out on enjoying a player we pretty much haven’t seen in a long time, if ever. As he did last season, James is quietly dominating the NBA with his basketball awesomeness, earning his second-straight NBA Player of…
In case you missed it, the Miami Dolphins got thoroughly pulverized with a sock full of pennies by the New England Patriots yesterday to the tune of 28-0, mercifully bringing the 2012 campaign to an end and ensuring yet another 7-9 season. Yet, on Black Monday — the Monday following…
Dwyane Wade has been suspended by the NBA for one game, without pay, for supposedly kicking another player in the balls. On Wednesday night in Charlotte, the Miami Heat were busy dismantling the Bobcats midway through the fourth quarter when Ramon Sessions fouled Wade. As he reached in for the…
The internet nearly stopped existing yesterday when sports blog Deadspin revealed what could possibly be the new Miami Dolphins team logo. Deadspin credited fan site DolfansNYC for leaking the possible logo, and Dolphins fans everywhere chimed in. Mostly, they hated it. And, if the leak is indeed the real logo,…
Throughout the early part of the NBA season, the men of the Miami Heat played basketball games like they were simply hoarding their fucks for the impending Mayan Apocalypse. Their defense was terrible. Their shooting, erratic. Their desire, seemingly lacking. But, since Christmas is a time of giving, the Heat…
It’s Christmas Day. Which means family, gifts, egg nog, and Miami Heat basketball. Lately the Heat have had to face off against the Lakers during the X-Mas Day Showdown. But this year, the NBA deemed it necessary to schedule a rematch of the NBA Finals (Remember that? When the Heat…
Despite a couple of good swings, the Miami Herald’s Dan Le Batard pretty much failed to connect with reality in his column last Sunday, a 1,000 word humble-brag tricked out as a nostalgia job. The basic thesis here moans that the Heat’s 2012-13 season is a lot less “fun” now…
It’s always nice to walk away from watching a Dolphins game and not feel like you just fell down and punctured your scrotum with your car keys. Sunday’s game against the visiting Jacksonville Jaguars was such a day. Ryan Tannehill put together the best QB rating at 123.2, and completion…
Heat point guard Mario Chalmers is averaging 6.3 points and 3.9 assists per game so far this season. Backup point guard Norris Cole is averaging 4.9 points and 2.2 assists per contest. Not much difference in numbers, really. Yet Cole has consistently been eating into Chalmers’ minutes lately, particularly in…
ESPN NFL analyst Adam Schefter went on The Sid Rosenberg Show (640-AM) Monday morning and said that he’s not all the sure rookie Ryan Tannehill is the quarterback the Dolphins have been looking for. Schefter says that he was once enthusiastic about Tannehill, but now not so much. His reasons…
Oh, hey. Look at that. The Dolphins lost again. At this point the inevitability of the Dolphins getting their asses pounded week in and week out, year in year out, should be old hat. These are, after all, the Miami Dolphins. And as the San Francisco 49ers punted the Fins’…
There’s been a lot of sideline crystal-balling and analysis about the national decline of horseracing, but Gulfstream Park in Hallandale Beach racked up some impressive numbers this past weekend with the kickoff of the thoroughbred season. Besides tanking cultural relevance, the big issue here was the start date. Traditionally, thoroughbreds begin…
This is what happens when the Heat players look like they left all their fucks in their other jeans and those jeans are in the wash. A 105-101 loss to the Washington Wizards, the worst team in all of professional sports: That’s what happens. It’s nothing new. The Heaters have…
In the least shocking news of the entire history of human persons, Sports Illustrated has named LeBron James the 2012 Sportsman of the Year. All LeBron pretty much did this year is cleave the earth with his astounding awesomeness by winning his first NBA title for your Miami Heat, won…
Just weeks before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to pull another big win out of their collective asses to inch closer to an improbable post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 23-16 loss to the New England Patriots. There’s plenty of blame…
